Nude Selfies Till I Die

Kim Kardashian and I are aligned on life goals. But the Iranians think she’s a secret agent for Instagram.  I think the only secret agent involved is Special Agent Oso, which is her favorite show.

“DJ is one of the finest bloggers out there.  Tremendous wit.  And he’s a good friend of mine”

That quote is from my PR man, John Miller.

I saw this headline today

Donald Trump Releases List of Possible Supreme Court Picks

Have you ever watched Birdman?  I suggest you do.  It features Mentok The Mind Taker, who is on Trump’s short list.

Dystopian Hellscape

I was just looking for an opportunity to use that term but that would be a good description of our country under a Trump presidency.  I took a loyalty pledge to vote for whomever is running against him. However, I see he and Paul Ryan made nice yesterday.  I watched Ryan present his word salad afterward.  That was one major crock of shit.

I sent my buds The Wolv and Unc an article recently that Uber is pulling out of Austin.  We were lucky that we got our trip in under the wire.  Then Wolv sent me this sad article about the demise of one of his relatives.  The Wolv used to harass me on the bandbox hoops court at our old employer but he’s never harassed any livestock to my knowledge.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/wolverine-killed-north-dakota_us_573545ffe4b060aa7819ef8a

My generous in-laws just sent us a gift certificate for this joint.  I expect to run into some hipsters but I’m sure we’ll enjoy ourselves nonetheless.  I plan to slurp a half dozen oysters for starters.  We also made a reservation for later this month at Perbacco, where we will meet the wife’s cousins.  Perbacco made The Chron’s Top 100.

http://cockscombsf.com/menu/dinner-menu/

Last weekend we again stayed at the Oakland Hills Hotel, my sister’s joint.  I was looking over an old blog from 2014 and she made a lasagna on that occasion as she did last Saturday.  She can do that every visit because she makes a killer lasagna.  I ended up wearing some of it.  I gotta go to the dry cleaner’s today to see if it came out.  We brought our daughter and so did my bro so it was a big family event.  Esoteric gins were on the pre-dinner drinks menu and we were served cappuccinos before they kicked us to the curb the next day, which was Mother’s Day.  The girl and I had already prepped brunch, which we had when we got home. 

In this week’s news, Bud renamed itself America, Wednesday was National Twilight Zone Day, and a 72-year-old woman in India gave birth to her first child.  Her husband is 79. That piss water Bud can rename itself America if Trump wins the election.  I’m all for National Twilight Zone Day but I think the fertility professionals in India need to act with considerably more responsibility.  My kids wore me out when I was in my 30s but their chances of becoming orphans before their fifth birthday were quite remote.

Foster City is about to debut a new apartment complex.  I stopped by to snap a few pics yesterday.  The leasing office is at 100 Grand Lane.  They named it that because that is the annual rent on one of their three bedrooms.

DJ=VP

I’m on Trump’s short list for VP.  Skeptical?  Does that sound any more implausible than Donald Trump as the presumptive Republican presidential nominee?  I try to take comfort in articles like this.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2016/05/donald_trump_isn_t_going_to_be_president.html

Lately I’ve become concerned about the women in my life.  I sent my wife to drop her car off at the mechanic and she locked her keys in the car.  And my daughter was having a Grey’s Anatomy marathon on a recent Sunday morning.  I was worried that it was going to make her sad.  The fact that she watches Grey’s Anatomy makes me sad.

SB2 needed to get some blood tests recently.  The wife asked me if I would take him, which worked out.  If she had taken him, I’d probably get a call at work that she had locked him in the car with the keys.  And if the radio was not on, he would be pissed.