Green Eggs and Spam

Well folks, I guess you all heard from me again via my AOL account. I'm confident I have solved the problem now as I engaged the professional services of TCG.

The wife and I had dinner at my sister's house Saturday. As always, it was an excellent spread with primo Pinots from Selyem and Dutton. However, my world was turned upside down when I discovered that my sedate and sober older brother, rapidly approaching his late 50s, was clad in pair of Diesel jeans. What the hell? My brother? He's a sexy beast with a 32" waist, which I attribute to malnutrition.

My bathroom re-model is complete. We have a new Toto toilet with the soft close lid . I checked to see if Toto had a model with a blow out preventer but no such luck.

Will Lady Gaga and Lady Antebellum ever get together for a duet?

My Kingdom For A Clue

I don't know who pisses me off more. Is it the woman at the farmer's market yesterday that paid for four bucks worth of strawberries with a $100 bill? I had to wait while the vendor dug into every imaginable crevice to come up with change. Or is it the shit for brains that was clipping his fingernails onto the locker room floor today at my posh club? Those two were made for each other. Do I need to publish DJ's Book of Etiquette?

Running for the Senate is no picnic. Christine O'Donnell bailed on her Sunday morning talk shows because she had to attend one. She might have been able to make it if she didn't have to do her voice exercises. She warbled her rendition of That Old Black Magic at yesterday's event.

We had dinner at my house Saturday whilst the women were gone. The logy boys were particularly logy that night. At first I couldn't figure out why we were foundering but then realized we were missing a key member of the senior leadership team; The Exec. And I mean senior.

Congrats to The Banker on his new gig. Maybe he'll finally lend me some dough.

Logy Boys

Yeah, yeah, I missed the SLA. What are you going to do about it? Stop reading these gems? I doubt it.

I guess all of you heard from me recently, to my chagrin. Ads for Viagra and Cialis ended up in your mailboxes due to some computer virus. I think I've killed it now. Its time for me to get a Mac.

I had lunch with the UK yesterday. He has kindly donated his third computer to my wife for use in the schools she works in. I gave thought to keeping it for myself, since its a Mac, but not even I am that callous. Close, but no cigar. By the way, if anyone's looking for a great ski rental, just click on his link on my blog.

So we had Japanese for lunch and then I got a burrito for dinner. I stopped at a the FC Chipotle since I had to get back to the house quickly, as I was on Sonny Boy 2 watch. The daughter deigned to come home for a half hour for a quick outfit change and then was off to a school dance. As I exited Chipotle, I caught a young skateboarder busting a rhyme outside Starbucks while his friends grooved on it. From a nearby table, a gentleman of my approximate age was giving him the hairy eyeball. But I don't judge. I did some crazy things in my youth. Bad rapping is no worse than wearing double knit slacks in public.

We had our annual post-Labor Day quilting bee in Tahoe this past weekend. The FC wives are up there this weekend. I expect to be terribly lonely.

I drove up with TCG and #1 last Thursday. We got a late start due to my babysitter having to cancel but #1's wife stepped in and saved the day. We hit some traffic in the city but it was smooth sailing after that. We had dinner and a couple pops at the Bridgetender in Tahoe City before turning in early.

The next day we got the boat out and went shopping to ensure we had lunch supplies for when The Exec and #2 arrived. We texted them to let them know vittles would be there for them. In typical fashion, the chuckleheads stopped for lunch in Truckee. We took the boat out again and headed to Chamber's Landing to have some Chambers Punch, which contains rum and God knows what else. This outing also gave The Exec an opportunity to leave his credit card there. He and I returned the next day via automobile to retrieve it. The main gates were closed so we were stumped. He pulled over to punch in the address into his GPS. It responded by stating: "Drive forward 20 feet and hang a left moron". When we got back I found out that TCG had given The Exec precise directions, which he ignored. I think it's pretty clear The Exec richly deserves the ridicule we heap upon him.

#1 whipped up some slow cooked Mexican pork for dinner Friday night. We spent a lot of time out on the deck as we were fortunate to get great weather. Martinis and Vespers were flowing freely but I stuck with beer. We had planned to go down to TCG's exclusive boat landing for dinner on Saturday night but ended up on the deck again. #2 manned the grill and we had some monster rib eyes along with brussel sprouts and baked potatoes. We shoveled the shit for hours then hit the hay. #2 made a point of telling me that what happens in Tahoe stays in Tahoe. We agreed to agree.

I Got Your SLA Right Here

With a short work week, some family responsibilities, and the fact that I'm taking off to Tahoe this afternoon for a boy's weekend, I'm afraid I won't be able to hit the SLA.

Hold on. Does this post count? I think so. If you disagree, maybe posting this recipe will fulfill my obligations.

http://tinyurl.com/ycjj63m

The blog is going in a new direction, a la Julie and Julia. I plan to do every recipe in Epicurious. I expect to finish a couple weeks before my 90th birthday. This particular one is fresh in my mind. I made a bucket full of this stuff Sunday since we had volleyball games etc. Plus there will be leftovers for Thursday when I'm not here. Sometimes I wonder how my wife gets along without me when I'm out of town.

London Calling

I thought I had mentioned in a previous post that we got a new phone a while back, replete with caller ID, but a blog search ends up with bupkis. This gives our household a late 20th century update. We now have the ability to ignore all the calls originating from toll free numbers or "unknown callers". However they don't seem to take the hint after continually getting the boring message on my machine.

Anyhoo, I've been feeling a little impish lately, so when one of those unwanted calls come in, I've been answering "Pinky's Pizza" - a nod to my bud Dr. Joe - or "Department of Miscellaneous Information". I then hear crickets. Readers, I need to know if this makes me a bad person. I sincerely hope not. I like to think of myself as a good husband and father, a loyal friend, and a minimally invasive co-worker.