DJ's Detritus

A Creative Writing Class Dropout's Last Refuge

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Gray Matter

My mind is a scary place, but I think you already know that.  As I was driving to the farmer’s market yesterday, I saw the familiar site of a dog owner carrying his pet’s poop in a plastic bag.  I immediately thought of a comedy routine from my youth, in which a game show contestant selects the bag.  She opens it and says, “Why this is a bag of shit”.  The host then states, “But it’s really good shit”.  I spent quite some time searching the interwebs for that skit, having thought for the last 45 years or so that it was from Cheech and Chong.  Alas, I have discovered it came from Firesign Theater.
I picked up some produce when I got there, then came across a jewelry stand.  Where do you go when you want to pick up some jewelry for your beloved?  The Foster City farmer’s market, that’s where.  My friend in the diamond business, Tom Shane, would be appalled.
I spent this morning working on the week’s meals.  I’m not sure my wife realizes what is involved in putting out a tasty and nutritious meal daily, but I do believe she occasionally pinches herself when she comes home to arroz con pollo or a fine casado. I picked up the casado habit after our trip to Costa Rica.  Also on this week’s menu is this gem, which I just pulled it out of the oven.
Earlier today I did some “marketing” at Draeger’s, as my old man would say now and then, when he was referring to food shopping.  I think he used this term because he belonged in the 19th century.  He once spoke of his aunt calling the greengrocer and inquiring as to the quality of various fruits and vegetables.  “How are the peas today?”  Get on the horn to Safeway trying that and see what happens.  Or maybe go your entire life without a driver’s license.  He did that too.
I thought I’d rant about Republicans for a while.  Are you into that sort of thing? I was one course short of a B.A. in history, so I can say with great authority that history will not be kind to Trump’s enablers, aka the vast majority of Republican hacks.  Sen. Ron Johnson popped off about an FBI “secret society” because he is too stupid to realize the quote was from an inside joke, which a sharp 8th grader would have picked up on.  But I was stunned to just come across this in today’s news feed:
“Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) on Sunday said that Robert Mueller, the special counsel leading the federal investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, is a “fair” investigator and prosecutor, and urged colleagues to “leave him the hell alone.””
He managed to badmouth some Democrats and give his thoughts on the "secret society" matter while he was at it, but you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  I’d like to see Hannity’s mug when he reads that one.
OK, let’s not dwell on our country’s complete lack of leadership.  We have a Super Bowl coming up.  We got invited again to the TCGs and I’m looking forward to some of the side bets we usually place at this event.  Plus Mrs. TCG said she might make my chicken chili.  I’m not sure what the odds are currently on the game, but the odds are great that she’ll make that dish a hell of a lot better than I do.  I think I’m going to let my wife come up with our contribution.  Stifle laughter here.


Saturday, January 13, 2018

The Wisdom of LaVar Ball

Just kidding

I just alerted my pal The Wig that one of his favorites, Jason Isbell, is on Austin City Limits tonight. This is one of the things that friends do for friends.  I figured he deserved it since he let me and wifey stay at his Key West manse to ring in the New Year.  We all went down to Duval St. to see Sushi drop.  You can read about it at the link below.  I wouldn’t want you to do have to do your own research.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/31/us/new-years-drag-queen-drop/index.html

I am still trying to figure out how I have managed to stay in the good graces of The Wig for close to forty years, but he and his wife are undoubtedly fine hosts.  We hit some of the top dining spots in town, such as Amigos, home of the square taco.  I like my tacos round, but I did not make a stink.  We had a tasty but expensive NYE meal at another joint, but I can’t remember the name.  They get you with the prix fixe on NYE, but the bar gave a good pour.  They served half of the martinis in a mini-carafe on ice.  Capellini in San Mateo used to do the same thing.  I need to invest in those.

We had a couple sunny days in Key West but were then met by a cold front that brought wind and rain as well as temps in the high 50s.  This is while most of the East Coast was facing bombogenesis.  I wish I had paid attention in science class.

I have not spoken much of my academic career, which is checkered at best.  However, I did manage to skip third grade after a few months.  The nuns called the house to tell my parents.  They thought they wanted to skip my older brother.  O ye of little faith.  In any case, the nuns made it clear that it was me they wanted to skip.  I still remember exactly what was said: “Your son is a very stable genius”.