Ciao Chikezie

I was sorry to see one of my favorite American Idol contestants eliminated this week. During an interview after the show, they asked Chikezie what he planned to do now. “I’m going to go home for a couple weeks, take it easy, maybe play some Parcheesi."

Brand Crazy

I need to get a pair of sweatpants with writing on the butt. I don’t feel comfortable with Juicy or Pink. Maybe I can start a new line: Detritus. That’s casual wear, but I look really great in Capri pants and a muscle shirt for a night on the town.

Sex and the State

What the hell is with these east coast governors and their whacky sex lives? Noted crime fighter Elliot Spitzer was too stupid to carry on a subdued affair, choosing instead to hire hookers with large cash withdrawals. Then we get the news that his replacement has had several extramarital liaisons. I got the full where and when on the news last night. Thanks for getting that out in the open Dave. Maybe your wife decided to step out too because you’re a knucklehead. The coup de grace was the news that former NJ governor James McGreevey confirmed the allegation by one of his former aides that he had three ways with Jersey’s first couple. We did not need to know that. C’mon Jim. You have a daughter. Deny, deny, deny. Fortunately the judge had enough class the seal the divorce records.

These amateurs have nothing on Nelson Rockefeller. In my mind’s eye, he’s flipping us the bird before he discreetly hops in the sack for one last spin before he croaks. That’s the way to make an exit.

Bayonne Bleeder

It was a big day for my big boy yesterday. He got word that he got into American University and U. of Puget Sound. He also got re-hired at the club as a camp counselor for the summer. I was excited and gave him a big hug. Apparently I squeezed his head too hard because he got a bloody nose. I was upset because some got on my jacket.

Shape Up

As you may have noticed from my 1/24/08 post, I’m not the lean, mean, fightin’ machine I used to be. But I’m trying to stay somewhat in shape. I swim three times a week or so and still see my personal trainer on Sundays. Personal trainers, like keyless remotes, are something we struggled without for many years, but that’s a topic for another day. My main goal forthwith is to help spread word of what I expect to be the next craze in fitness. I’ve taken a few classes myself and I’ve been impressed. It is called pirates, pronounced \pə-rä-tēz\. It is a specialized program focusing on muscle control and strengthening, while wearing an eye patch and repeating the mantra “Ahoy me hardies”.

Thank You J Lo

I would like to thank Jennifer Lopez for naming her children Max and Emme. Given the bizarre names that celebs have saddled their children with, this is a relief. They’ll still have to grow up with self-absorbed parents, but the kids at school won’t be teasing them unmercifully. Here are some names they could have ended up with:

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article2130988.ece

Shifting into second, I was in Radio Shack the other day to buy a battery for the keyless remote for my Volvo. On my way there, I pondered how we lived without those for so many years. When I entered the store, the sales rep was working with a customer that was interested in a cell phone. He asked, “What do you plan to use the phone for?” That set me off. The internal monologue that ensued was as follows: “Well, first off, I’d like to take a lot of pictures. And of course I want to listen to music. And if you have one that I could also use as a communications device, that would be a real plus”. George Carlin’s take on cell phones, among other things, is worth a look.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Sr4qXrfLi1o

I’m going to TCG’s tonight to play poker. I plan on taking those guys for a ride.

Happy Birthday

First off, to my blog, which turns two today. Thanks to #1 for prodding me to get off my rear and onto blogspot

And of course, to Mrs. TCG, who turned 13 yesterday. We were invited to a fine fest at their domicile, a catered event that all thoroughly enjoyed. We partook of hors d’ouevres and beverages on the patio. The Ciroc was flowing freely and #1 and I took advantage of the situation, with #2 joining in as well. I was a tad chilly even in my jacket, but the numbers are manly men who pooh-poohed my plaint in their shirtsleeves.

For the evening, the garage was converted into a plush dining room to seat the overflow crowd. This was done ostensibly for space but my thought was that it was an appropriate place for a feeding trough for the village, especially the male members. The table of honor, with the birthday gal, family, and oldest friends, was right next to the garage door. I was feeling impish and considered going out to TCG’s car and hitting the door opener. However, I realized that might result in me getting my ass kicked and thought the better of it.

At this point, I’d like to introduce a new entrant into the pantheon of DJ’s Detritus. I’ve struggled to find an appropriate name for this individual, who has been skulking on the fringes of the village for what seems an eternity. He was TCG’s best man and I met him during their courtship. He praised my comedy routine at their wedding and says he likes my blog. Therefore, I like him. I considered and rejected several names. #7. No. #8. No. I’ve settled on IE. No, that does not stand for id est but for import/export, which is his business. And let me tell you, this guy is all business. We’ve had several chats in the past about our mutual Italian heritage. Last night we talked about all the crazy shit we did when we were young. I’d elaborate but I’m under a non-disclosure agreement.

Dancing broke out about 11pm or so. The boys lounged on the couches while the ladies shook what they got. I was chatting with The Banker for a bit. I’m sure I repeated many stories I’ve already bored him with several times about our old upstate NY haunts. The Banker is a good guy and indulges me nonetheless. The Belgian was also there for what seemed like 15 minutes. I thought he was taking the village snub to the next level by bailing out early. His wife informed us that he had just flown in from India. I’ve never done it but I hear it puts a serious dent in your internal clock. The subject of India brought up a discussion about city name changes there. We all agreed that Bombay is now Mumbai but what was Madras? #1 said Chennai but The Belgian’s wife disagreed. #1 settled it quickly with his crakcberry. He was right. I learned something new. I have put several circuits into Chennai but never knew it was formerly Madras. Thinking of them almost brought a tear to my eye. When I started at my company, we merely had an E-1 there, which is 2 megabits. I’ve seen that grow to a sturdy OC12 (622Mb). It’s almost like watching your kids grow up.