DJ's Detritus

A Creative Writing Class Dropout's Last Refuge

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Send Me Dead Flowers

My birthday is tomorrow. Do the right thing and send me FB salutations and expensive gifts. The next day is the Kentucky Derby so I'll be sitting back in my rose pink Cadillac making bets. I suppose you'll be in your basement room. Actually the next day is my wife's bday so send her FB salutations etc. We'll be in Monterey for the festivities. Gotta get the fun in while we can, because we are getting old.

4M alerted me to the article below about strippers appearing at funerals in rural China I find this trend reprehensible. I plan to make a specific request that this not take place at my memorial. Hookers, maybe; strippers, never.


I've been busy in the kitchen. I made a run of the mill pot roast but Sunday I cranked out one of Martha's recipes. I used the advised Valencia rice, which came in a cute little cloth sack. The dish was delish and will be added to my regular rotation


The Eagles signed Tebow and they immediately checked the GM for a concussion. Oh, I am going to miss Letterman.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Sunday Musings

"For the love of god, get a post up!" That is a direct quote from The Wig. I realize I've mentioned The Wig a lot lately. Maybe if the rest of you wrote or called once in while I'd mention you too.

We have a new favorite restaurant in San Mateo. It is a Vietnamese place called Ben Tre. There a couple more further up The Peninsula. We went last night with The Execs. Mrs. Exec had checked on corkage fees and was told there were none so we brought a Rose and a Zin. It turns out there was corkage but we did not get charged. The food is excellent and very reasonable priced. Get over there.

After dinner we all watched The Rewrite, which takes place at my old school. My brother and I had discussed going to see it together but it never made it to the Bay Area and ended up on pay per view pretty quickly. I recognized a few of the locales and it turned out to be a decent flick.

There has been a lot of crazy shit going on. A 73 year old reserve deputy in Tulsa with questionable training killed a man when he thought he was going for his taser. This is a guy that should be down at the DMV being checked to see if he can still drive, not allowed to play cop. No doubt you've heard about all the other recent police shootings. Let's make body cameras mandatory.

I'm sad to hear that the relationship between Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush is souring. Maybe they'll cancel each other out. They should try an ad like this.


I've seen a few interesting parenting articles in the past few weeks. A mother at the Cleveland Zoo dangled her kid over the cheetah exhibit and, oops, dropped him. If I was that kid, I'd spend more time with dad, if he's around. Then I saw the below article on "free range parenting". Times have changed. When I was 10, I was all over the place on my bike. I just had to be home by dinner or by dark. On a side note, I'm my kid's favorite parent.


In gratuitous celebrity news, Madonna kissed Drake. Although this makes her look desperate, I'm cool with it. If they keep their lips locked, neither of them can make any of their alleged music.

Sunday, April 05, 2015

Full Fat

Quote Of The Day

I don’t understand it when people act tough. If you act tough, it just means that you’ve been through a lot of horrible things, and now you’ve survived them and now you’re ready to attack anyone at any time, like a pitbull. I want a demeanor that says I’ve never been through anything at all. And I’m just a pug riding a decorative pillow.” Ron Funches

Well, he didn't say it today but I read it today.

Yes, people this is indeed my version of The Skimm. I'm going to run through Google's news page and hope not to flop.

The California drought headline referenced Joni Mitchell's Hissing Of Summer Lawns. I need to have a conversation with the wife about pulling ours out. We had a nice one installed, sprinkler system and all, about 15 years. I think its gotta go.

Pope's Easter message urges end to extremist violence

Amen Frank. I've had it with reading about the beheadings, shootings etc. The latest is that a Kenyan government official's son was one of the gunmen in the college attack. I've had it but I don't have an answer. Can we levy a tax on billionaires and throw money at the problem? It may not do the trick but I'm willing to give it a shot.

Wisconsin denied Kentucky their undefeated season. I picked KY to go all the way but it was a great game. Now I'd like to see WI take out Duke. That'll keep me and The Wolv happy. #1's Sonny Boy 2 won our Extended Village Yahoo pool and I came in dead last.

Christians in Holy Land, across world celebrate Easter

And I saw a 6 foot Easter Bunny holding his bunny head on East Hillsdale.

Exporting Philly: Cheesesteaks, ices and pretzels go worldwide

When I visited my cousins in Philly, I used to take a walk down Cottman Ave. to Jardel Park. There was always a truck parked out front selling soft pretzels. If memory serves, I'd buy five or six and eat them on the walk back. They'd sell Italian ices as well, which was a favorite. I hadn't had one for about 30 years when The Wig took me to a shop in Summit, NJ that sold them during one of our summer visits there.

Chris Wallace Attacks Kelly Clarkson's Weight

I thought the entertainment section would be in my wheelhouse but there really was nothing I could get too snarky about. Wallace, you're a dick. Leave her alone.

Augusta's greens play mind games at Masters

You can cut the tension with a knife

Friday, April 03, 2015

Same Ol' Same Ol'

I was invigorated by my morning swim so I thought I'd toss up a post. Then my job got in the way. I apologize for keeping you waiting. I know many have been anticipating my version of The Skimm, which I mentioned on my 2/14 post. Well, this ain't it, but I'll get there. My buddy The Wig came up with the title of Full Fat for it. Get it? If The Wig has so many damn good ideas, why doesn't he start his own blog.

So I stopped at the ATM afterwards, which put me in a bad mood. Some guy was there for what seemed like an eternity. If I knew he was going to try to take out a home equity line, I would have gone to another branch. He left his car idling in the handicapped spot, with his placard displayed. He didn't seem any more handicapped than me. I have one of those placards but I assiduously avoid using it. I see so many people I'd like to call bullshit on taking those spaces but I NEVER say anything because many people have them for legitimate reasons even though they seem to walk OK. I know this.

I became a dad 25 years ago yesterday. SB1 will be heading to American University's graduate School of Communication in the fall. I expect him to become the next Great Communicator. The girl was home last week for wisdom teeth extraction. That went very well except for the dent in my wallet caused by my rinky dink dental plan. Maybe I should sign up for ObamaCare, like Ted Cruz. And we should see SB2 tomorrow for a walk and Special Agent Oso marathon. I expect at some point he'll let me know he wants chips and milk, he wants them on the patio, and he wants them right the hell now. He doesn't need to go to grad school to communicate.

I'm looking forward to going to #1's for Easter dinner. I haven't seen my good bud for a while so we'll definitely be hugging it out. We borrowed their "Green Monster" Ford Expedition when the girl was home. It's good to have friends.