DJ's Detritus

A Creative Writing Class Dropout's Last Refuge

Saturday, May 24, 2014

The Big Day

Florence is being overrun by the Kimye wedding party today. I did not get an invite. The destination wedding is a relatively new concept. Why not make your family and friends traipse all over the world on your whim. For normal folk, the destination is usually where one of the couple's family lives. We did San Diego so a lot of folks had to travel, but I'm sure they thought it was worth it.

I'm not well acquainted with Neko Case but I don't think I'd like to piss her off.


We had dinner last night at #1's house, featuring a fine pasta dish with chard and a hint of nutmeg accompanied by wine braised sausages.  We were the first to experience their new kitchen, which is almost as nice as ours. All the village folks that eventually read this, which is by no means a foregone conclusion, will be jealous. However, the DJs are the Kimyes of our group, clueless yet universally loved trendsetters.

Tonight is my turn to cook. The Unc and spouse are coming and bringing over the folks that had us down to their Monterey house. My chicken piccata is poor repayment for that wonderful weekend but its all I got. The wife is making her chocolate torte, so there's that too.

Tomorrow we're going into the city to wander about and then back to FC for a BBQ. The wife has invited me to join Tripit, so I gotta get serious about some planning for our late June trip to Ireland/England/Paris. I found out today that we got a good deal on a London hotel from our first au pair, a bigwig in the Hilton organization. Speaking of Wigs, we are meeting them in Paris for the last four days of the trip. I just fulfilled my obligation to the Wig by emailing him our hotel and the list of Top 50 restaurants in Paris, for one of which I expect him to get us a reservation. Le Chateaubriand is first choice. This will be my third Top 50 experience. I don't do destination weddings but I'm self indulgent in other ways. I say this in the spirit of transparency. 

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Your May Police Log

16:14 Soliciting w/o a Permit 140515066
Occurred on Bramble Ct, Fcy. RP reports a male, 25-30 Y.O., is going door to door asking about resident's religion. Subjects contacted are evangelizing and not selling any products. No violation occurred. Disposition: Unfounded.

Quite frankly, I'd rather have you try to sell me something. It was later determined Joel Osteen was in town, sharing his prosperity gospel.

22:02 City Ordinance Violation 140515113
Occurred at E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Noise complaint: subjects using loud machinery to clean carpets.
Contact/compliance. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

This is exactly why I went with hardwood.

23:01 Barking Dog 140515122
Occurred on Pitcairn Dr, Fcy. Dog barking non-stop in backyard. QOA. Contact made with resident by phone who stated raccoons are in her backyard and when she lets her dog outside to relieve herself, she barks. Dog is inside and resident stated she will try to get the raccoons to stop coming in her backyard. . Disposition: Completed.

Give it up lady. I've tried reasoning with racoons, threatening them, everything. Nothing works.

06:43 Welfare Check 140514012
Occurred on Bounty Dr, Fcy. RP rpts a subj running around the complex barefoot who appears to be in distress. Contact made with the subj's mother at listed location; subj was inside and checked fine. . Disposition: Checks Ok.

Barefoot In Distress, the sequel to Barefoot In The Park, is shooting in town.

11:47 Civil Case 140514043
Occurred on Aruba Ln, Fcy. RP at the front counter rpts jewelry and coins taken by her sister. Civil matter; advice rendered. . Disposition: Completed.

My brother used to take my coins all the time but I never ratted him out.

10:42 Vandalism 594 PC 140513029
Occurred at E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. RP reports for the 2nd time in a week (1st was unreported) unknown(s) cut the pad lock and chain to gain access to the lagoon side of the business in order to drop fishing traps into the water. Fish and Game also contacted and advised. . Disposition: Report Taken.

I think fishing in the lagoon will eventually provide its own punishment.

14:28 Citizen Assist 140513046
Occurred on East Court Ln, Fcy. RP requesting an area check for his 6 month old Pitbull "Shasha " (Blue nose, gray coat , approx 30lbs) who got out of his yard sometime in the last 20 - 30 minutes. Nearby gardeners possibly saw the dog following a tall WMA. RP called back prior to officer arrival, dog found. . Disposition: Cancelled While Enroute.

A blue nosed pitbull roaming around town does not give me a sense of comfort.

16:22 Citizen Assist 140509068
Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Counseling for a child requested by parent at the front counter. . Disposition: Service Provided.

Let's go down to the station to see if the cops can figure out what the hell's wrong with you.

02:18 Disturbance 415 PC 140510011
Occurred on Port Royal Av, Fcy. RP rents a room upstairs and states the homeowner's and their friends are partying downstairs and she can't sleep. RP would like PD to mediate situation. Friends left and situation mediated btwn RP and homeowner. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

The wife and I party often with friends so we don't rent out our spare bedrooms.

09:34 Disturbance 415 PC 140510019
Occurred at Rock Harbor/Sea Cloud. RP rpts 2 army type helicoptors from Oracle transporting a boat 50 ft in the air; concerned boat will fall off and destroy homes in the area. Area checks clear; sky crane landed in Redwood Shores without incident. . Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

Larry does what Larry wants.

16:27 Citizen Assist 140510041
Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Real Estate agent at the front counter requesting to speak to the WC regarding real estate signs that were picked up. Signs returned. . Disposition: Service Provided.

16:36 Citizen Assist 140510042
Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Subj at front counter requesting his real estate signs be returned after seeing a previous subj get his signs back. Signs returned. . Disposition: Completed

16:59 Citizen Assist 140510043
Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Real estate sign returned at the front counter. Disposition: Completed.
10:05 Suspicious Person 140430031

Was it Mess With Your Local Realtor Day?

09:10 Disturbance 415 PC 140430029
Occurred at Foster City Bl. , Fcy. RP rpts an unauothorized subj is trying to change the lock at her business. Both parties contacted and an attorney reponded with paperwork showing an eviction effective today's date at 2359hrs. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

This is no longer your place of business. Were you expecting a different result, you dope.

Occurred on Beach Park Bl, Fcy. RP rpts an AMA, crouched down in the bushes taking photos with a camera on a tripod. Contact made; subj determined to be taking nature photos (photos were viewed for confirmation). . Disposition: Checks Ok.

For my upcoming coffee table book, Flora and Fauna of Foster City

18:46 Trespassing 602 PC 140429072
Occurred at Sea Spray Ln. , Fcy. Report of teenagers, who jumped the fence and are swimming in the pool with their scooters. Contact made with subjects who were admonished. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

That can't be good for the scooters.

12:24 Disturbance 415 PC 140426034
Occurred at E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. RP reports that a WMA, 50's, 6'2", 250 LB (overweight) is yelling at him and his wife due to a near collision in the parking lot. Subject was last seen walking towards the pharmacy while Officers were enroute. All involved parties contacted and verbal altercation was mediated. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

This is to distinguish this perp from the one who is 6'2", 250 LB (totally buffed).

18:18 Disturbance 415 PC 140426056
Occurred on Pilgrim Dr, Fcy. 13 yro male yelling obesities ifo RP's house. Contact made with juvenile playing basketball. Parent arrived to pickup son while Officer admonishing and was advised of behavior. RP advised. . Disposition: Completed.

Cut the kid some slack. His shot wasn't dropping today.

01:37 Citizen Assist 140421005
Officer initiated activity at Mcdonald's Restaurant, Triton Dr, Foster City. Disposition: Service Provided.

One Egg McMuffin please

Saturday, May 10, 2014

La Dolce Vita

I'd imagine you've asked yourself frequently over the last few weeks, "I wonder what DJ has been up to?". Well, I won't over share, but I'd be happy to recap a few highlights.

The wife and I celebrated birthdays recently. I'm a year and a day older. She took me out to dinner at Osteria Coppa for mine. Before she came home from work, I poured a bucket o' martini and reflected on 57 years of sloth. I let her drive us to the thriving metropolis of San Mateo, where we enjoyed a fine meal, which yielded leftovers. The only down side, as i saw it, was a women at the next table that jabbered non-stop, rarely allowing her table mates to get a word in. But I didn't have to eat with her, so it was merely mildly annoying.

The next night the spousal unit went on a booze cruise with the womenfolk of the village. This allowed me to retire before 9pm on a Friday night, as is my wont. She had bought herself a sound system for the new monster TV in our family room so I was off the hook present wise. I pulled the same Hallmark image printout trick I did for Valentine's day and put the sound system control on it. Happy birthday honey.

I've also interacted with my progeny via Facebook and email. The girl asked me for the fantastic chicken marinade she's enjoyed many times at home. I had to admit that I make it up as I go each time. It starts with one part lemon/lime juice and two parts canola oil. From there I just throw a few spices and garlic in it.

Would you like to hear about work? I didn't think so. Fortunately I have way more years behind me than ahead. But I'll need to figure out something to do when I actually retire. Reasonable suggestions are welcomed.

I got a LinkedIn invite from a gentleman from The Bank of Ghana. I do love networking with other professionals, but I felt it best to decline this one.

I had lunch yesterday with little sis. Since Sweet Basil was packed during lunch hour, we went a few storefronts down to their vegetarian alternative. We each had a tasty Tofu Pad Thai preceded by some samosas. I get to have it for lunch today too.

What have I been watching on that monster TV? Mostly Letterman. When the wife gets home from work at a reasonable hour, we'll tune into Mad Men or Fargo. We are patiently awaiting the new season of Orange Is The New Black. Since I've been under utilizing my Netflix subscription - thanks for the love note about not raising my rates - I've decided to catch a few music documentaries, most recently Muscle Shoals.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I bought an actual card. I do not mess with this, the most sacred of Hallmark holidays. I also bought some flowers, which I was able to hide as wifey was gone when I got home from Safeway. Yes, Safeway has a wonderful floral department. But DJ, what if she reads your blog today and it ruins the surprise? Now what do you think the chances of that are?