Mon Dieu

I can't believe the French were staging violent protests over raising the retirement age from 60 to 62. What a bunch of whiners! I'd be happy as a pig in shit if I could pack it in at 62. Plus they had to cancel Lady Gaga's Paris concerts as a result.

The cops recently found a "drunk, angry and naked" Charlie Sheen in a NYC hotel room. That cat is going to end up on a slab soon.

Sad news from the cephalopod world today. Paul the psychic octopus has breathed his last. His parting words? Giants in six.

Doing The Hip Trip

I was listening to alternative radio yesterday. Its just something I do once in a while, in an attempt to be hip. The DJ was saying that Stone Temple Pilots, aka STP, were taking a break from their touring schedule. However, I think it was a brief one because it looks like they'll be making their November 1 show at The Warfield. This has got to be great news to those of you still living in 1994.

Speaking of STP - the motor oil additive, not the band - their distinctive oval stickers were popular when I was a youngster. I think I had one on my bike. That's probably because we did not have a car to put it on. Car culture was alive and well in my little town, which made us a family of outcasts, at least until my brother reached the age when he could become the family chauffeur, a mantle I proudly assumed a few years later

I'm thinking about naming my abdominal muscles. I'm open to suggestions.

Lastly, I'd like to make one point crystal clear. I'm not a warlock. I'm you, only better.

Sexy Time?

Its clear to me now that Billy Ray and his missus have a big ol' pile of grits where their brains should be. Everyone is up in arms over the provocative video Miley Cyrus has just come out with, including the Parents Television Council. Guess who's on the PTC advisory board. That's right, Billy Ray Cyrus

The pain continues. One of my heroes, The Situation, is now off DWTS. He eloquently shared his feelings on the topic, including saying that the judges were "unpositive".

Carl Paladino, NY gubernatorial candidate and, according to Christopher Hitchens, a "provincial thug", was recently campaigning in my old upstate stomping grounds. This is quite a coincidence. Recently I've been going after writing gigs and The Tea Party has taken me on as their new sloganeer. My first effort for them: Bullshit You Can Believe In

TK just sent me the check he owed me for our Tahoe dinner. I dropped it when I was taking it out of the mailbox and the thing bounced onto the roof.

It looks like Minka Kelly is the sexiest woman alive. Who's Minka Kelly?

Deadlines

I gotta tell you folks. That SLA is a harsh mistress. To be honest, I really haven't had the will to write since David Hasselhoff and Michael Bolton were the first two kicked off Dancing With The Stars.

I heard the news today, oh boy.

"U2 frontman Bono has announced that he is teaming up with designer fashion label Louis Vuitton to launch an African-themed clothing range."

Here's what I have to say. Cut me a slice of that Bono!

I'm going to make a bold prediction. The Niners will win at least one of their next two games.

Go Giants!

The Porches Of Alpine County

My chemical bromance began Friday afternoon at 3pm when The UK picked up TK and me at 4M's house for a choir boy weekend. We made a Stockton Starbucks stop and a Lockeford liquor load up on our way to the UK's ski cabin in Kirkwood. Once we unpacked we were off to the Kirkwood Inn to kick off a carnivore's delight.

After dinner we camped out on the UK's porch as we had been granted a beautiful fall evening. The four Catholic high school boys of yore discussed topics ranging from 70's era disciplinary tactics to seminary admittance age. We had all dodged that bullet. Other topics came up as well and I had to make a few corrections, such as the fact that Christine O'Donnell was not running for governor of RI. There was also the juxtaposition of the words piranha and pariah. However my attempts to be didactic were frowned upon and I temporarily became a piranha. We all got to bed at a reasonable hour, well before sun up. I was the first to turn in because I could not take one more of 4M's imitations of The Situation.

TK's Diner opened early the next day. Farm fresh eggs from 4M's tenants were featured, along with English muffins and a hearty brew. We followed breakfast with a neighborhood tour on foot and then did some four wheeling to catch the fall colors. After an afternoon nap, we headed to South Lake.

Dinner was at Ciera at the Montbleu Saturday night. 4M picked a fine champagne to start the evening. We each had an appetizer followed by large piece of beef. The waiter was kind enough to snap a couple pics of the event. A cozy booth might have been a better setting for the photo but we did OK. After dinner we caught The Way I See It. A slew of teenagers and ski dudes were out to catch the death defying antics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZDbhH8Cw0o

We headed out late Sunday morning, after watching The UK do an excellent job of cleaning the cabin. We stopped for a burger at Mel's Diner in Jackson, which gave us an opportunity to watch the Niners blow a possible victory. But we listened to the Giants clinching the division crown on the way home. A big thanks to The UK for a great weekend.