DJ's Detritus

A Creative Writing Class Dropout's Last Refuge

Saturday, September 27, 2014

From Tokyo With Ennui

#1 sent me the following link


He's been following the "star's" every move as well. I was upset when I heard she got tackled. I thought she might have to go on the disabled list, which would completely screw my Fantasy Bimbo roster.

And I'm already in deep doo doo in my FF league. My opponent this week had Eli Manning as one of his QBs. The Giants crushed Washington, which I had picked to win the game in my other pool. I continue to make bad choices in life.

The wife's on the way to San Diego for the weekend. It'll be a hot time in the old town tonight. I'll be asleep by 9.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Dirty Chai Latte

That's Peet's latest. And I thought it was Pumpkin Spice Latte season

Donald Trump tweeted that Mitch McConnell may be the next Speaker. That would certainly be a possibility, were he in The House. For now, let's all just agree that Trump is an idiot and a blowhard.

There was news of a 21 year old Florida women who added a third breast to deter suitors. Fortunately this turned out to be a hoax. There's never been a need for me to even consider attaching additional parts to deter suitors. That just came naturally.

In work related matters, I'm reading a new career self help book titled "Swim With The Sharks Or Sleep With The Fishes Like Luca Brasi". Also my office is having a Safety Fair. I shared this info with my colleagues and let them know I'd be there doing the Safety Dance.


I got some hits and even a comment from Mrs. TCG. Now that she's read the blog, I'm sure she won't be back.

The rain is coming down here in NorCal. Let's hope it keeps up for six months.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Pabulum For My People

#1 and wife were over for pizza Friday. He headed to Tokyo for a couple weeks yesterday morning and promised me some blog hits from Japan. They came in shortly after midnight, so he's spending his time productively.

I mentioned on FB last weekend that the siblings were coming over for dinner and that I was hoping for the best. Wasn't that cute? I made the old standby, chicken piccata. i have to retire that recipe for a while. We all got along famously though.

I reupholstered the Volvo yesterday. That black duct tape is only a few shades off.

I see that Mama June and Sugar Bear have gone their separate ways. Apparently they are trying "to figure things out". I think it will be a very long time before that pair figures anything out.

The beer of my youth, Pabst, aka PBR, has been sold to the Russians. A shitty beer is about to get worse. I'm sure this has upset hipsters throughout the land.

Celebrity Baby Name or Kentucky Derby Winner? That was a skit a comedian on Letterman did a few weeks back. I did swimmingly due to my celeb baby name acumen.

The Wig's second son is moving out to the Bay Area. I said he could stay at our house for a while.  I only have one rule, which I adopted from the movie Stripes. "Don't touch my stuff!".

Ever hear that STP song "Take Time With A Wounded Hand"?  Probably not, because the song is called "Creep" in which the former is a line in the chorus. I just found this out today. Radiohead's "Creep" is more prominent, per Google. This is fascinating stuff, isn't it? I bring this up because I sliced my thumb real good a couple weeks ago. I didn't feel like going to the ER so I sewed it up myself. Quien es mas macho? Actually there's an urgent care right here in FC that took care of it. I got the stitches out Thursday.

Since I can go back in the water, I took a swim early this morning. 8am is a good time to grab a lane at the posh club on a Sunday, in case you were wondering. I took SB2 there yesterday for a game of "chuck the kid".  A lady nearby jokingly inquired as to who was getting the workout.

Here's a link for a vacation idea. I don't think it would be applicable to any of my readership but I thought I'd throw it out there. It's lovely in August. You can catch the races and get consciously uncoupled.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Clueless

I just got back from the gym. Some kid was parked at one of my favorite machines, mostly playing with his phone. I waited a while then walked up to him and said "you mind if I get a few sets in while you read your email?" He asked if he could do one more set. I said "Sure you can". We thanked each other when he departed. Dumb shit.

I recently thought about my three week stay at that rehab hospital in Jersey in '99. What I really needed then was some encouragement from Kanye. I see he was also hospitalized for a migraine. He probably got it from listening to himself talk.

On top of the Katy Perry/Taylor Swift feud, which I find upsetting, Martha Stewart has been going after Gwyneth Paltrow. What the hell did Gwyneth ever do to you? And she does not think much of the star of OITNB either. Shut up and go count your money Martha.

The 2014 McArthur Genius Grants are out and I've been overlooked once again.

I saw an article today stating that Europeans were drawn from three ancient tribes. Apparently I come from brown-eyed, pale skinned farmers. I'm cool with that.

When I got home from work today, I found a cassette tape of U2's new album glued into my mailbox.


Perk up. It's pumpkin spice latte season.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

Da Media

There are so many things in the media to make fun of it is hard to know where to start. But I'll start with naked pictures.

While I deplore the recent hacking scandal both as an invasion of privacy and theft, I think the best way to ensure this never happens to you is simple. Don't take naked pictures of yourself.

And then there's this from the Ask A Hillbilly segment of Hannity


Gee Phil, wasn't convert or kill tried before?

And here is a measured response


Now that Rosie Perez and Nicolle Wallace are joining The View, we'll soon get to hear their take on this and other issues.

Former VA governor Bob McDonnell and his wife may have time to work on their tennis game, although not together. I expect they are both headed for a short stint at a country club prison, although it would be decades if they threw the book at them. I don't envy Bob, but I sure wish I had his hair.

Did we need a study to figure this out?


Scarlett Johansson just had a baby. Shame on me for not knowing she was pregnant. I'll be shopping for a baby gift this weekend. My respect for her has increased a great deal since I learned they named the kid Rose Dorothy. I've already shared my feelings on celebrity baby names.

Would you like to hear a little about my Labor Day weekend? If not, it's time to go back to browsing Facebook. We drove up to Tahoe early last Saturday. The Volvo acquitted itself well and rolled over 200k. We were hosted by TCG and spouse. The numbers and their wives were already there when we arrived.

TCG was scrubbing the deck with vinegar when we got there. I asked him why and he said he wasn't sure but his wife told him to do it. Actually he was trying to take some mineral stains of his Trex deck. Vinegar has a multitude of uses. You might be able to find something on the internet about that.

We were treated to a couple great boat rides. I'm not the nautical sort but all the other dudes know enough to get us secured to the pier when we make stops. I just get the hell out of the way. During Sunday's trip, we were flagged down by a disabled boat, which we towed to shore. Again, I stayed out of the way.

Saturday night we BBQ'd at the shore. There was a temporary contretemps when we found another group occupying one of our picnic tables. The establishment had double booked but the group soon got a better offer and we were able to take our rightful place. #1 mixed up a bunch of Manhattans using only artisinal ingredients, because we're all a bunch of pretentious suburbanites. We were then off to the bocce courts where the women trounced the men. The rest of the night consisted of consuming substantial quantities of Aidells sausages and Zinfandel.

My blog came up during the trip. All other topics were exhausted at that point. We discussed the fact that I do not have an RSS feed available so I committed to addressing that. I tried when I got home but it is going to take a little more concentration on my part. Or I'll need to engage someone who is more tech savvy than me, like the UK, TCG or Rose Dorothy. I did get a lot of hits because TCG was doing some catch up reading. I think the last time he read any of my posts was 2010.

The wife and I hit the road about 9am Monday morning and were pretty lucky on the traffic front. We sat for about 30-45 minutes near Sacramento, but who doesn't like to spend a little extra time in Sacramento. The AC in the Volvo decided to take a break, so we had to roll down the windows for a bit, but it came back to life once we were moving again.

We'd like to thank TCG and the missus for a wonderful weekend.