All Apologies

Mea culpa TK, if I come off as a bit brusque, but you gotta stop calling me at work. You’re cutting into valuable blog time.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted for over two weeks. My statcounter tells me that interest is as high as ever, peaking with 16 hits yesterday. I think JB may have checked in from both home and work, which accounts for the spike. It’s been a hectic two weeks. They’ve been making me do work at work lately. Every bit of my energy has gone towards achieving one of our corporate goals; enhancing the customer experience. I’ve accomplished this by showing up for work most days. I also have to apologize for my last post. I did not realize until one of my readers informed me, but apparently the dog in The Chron article picture has body image issues. Forgive me Fido.

It looks like my bud Vance has put on a few pounds lately, according to his latest comment. I must have temporarily forgotten how to use the comment moderation feature. Normally I would have deleted his babble but he slipped one through. Speaking of Vance, we had a fine dinner with him and his wife last weekend. We went to Aqua’s sister restaurant, Pisces, which closed the day after we went. We are not to blame. They had a $200 Pinot available for $150, but since 4M wasn’t there to provide wine guidance, we stuck with a more reasonably priced Sauv Blanc. The meal was delectable, despite our trifling and unfounded concerns about a seafood clearance sale.

Vance, I know you told me not to tell you this but somebody has to talk some sense into you. You have to exercise more. Maybe you can run along the bay like these two women I saw last weekend. One of them had a fantastic dye job. You see Vance, even people with magenta hair want to stay in shape.

Cats and Dogs

I like to keep my readers apprised of advances in veterinary medicine. The Chron had an interesting article about a breakthrough pooch weight loss medication, Slentrol, that the FDA has approved. I’m excited about this on two fronts. In addition to seeing our tax dollars well spent, this will allow us to extend the life of fat Fidos throughout the land.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/06/MNGOMNE4RE1.DTL&hw=FDA+OKs+drug&sn=002&sc=367

One of the surprising conclusions drawn in the article was that dog obesity was blamed on “the same factors that cause people to get fat: too much food and not enough exercise.” The owners of these pups need to emulate the couples I see here in my lovely suburban community. They take romantic strolls along the bayshore, plastic bags of canine fecal matter in hand.

In a related story, Hercules, a 20 pound Seattle cat, was found after he got stuck in a doggie door in Portland. He had been missing for six month but has now been reunited with his owner. I’m curious about a couple things. How did he make it to Portland carrying that load and how did he maintain his Rubenesque figure the whole time? Regardless, it’s time to slip some Slentrol into his Friskies.

I’d like to see the pharmaceutical companies expand their research into other areas of pet health. My porcupine Sparky is in pretty good shape. He’s quite svelte but his coat does have a couple bad patches. Any company that introduces Porcupine Rogaine will have my business and Sparky’s gratitude.

Turning the page to human health, AOL recently informed me that there is a new name for what we used to call sloth. It’s Sedentary Death Syndrome (SeDS). I’m not personally worried about that one but I’m not feeling great today. I’m a little cranky because my acid reflux and Restless Leg Syndrome are both kicking in this morning.

Take My Advice

Some people just have it tough. I was reading Dear Abby today. The advice seeker apparently had an affair with his wife’s sister before he met his wife. Now the sister-in-law is trying to blackmail him. Ouch! And if the situation wasn’t precarious enough, the guy was on the hook with his wife because he forgot their anniversary and ran over her dog in the same week. That’s a serious hard luck story. I’m glad that my wife doesn’t have a sister. Some folks say her brother is cute but I don’t see it.

Recent entertainment headlines announced that Celine Dion’s Vegas extravaganza will be coming to a close this year. Fortunately it’s not happening until December. I alerted the upstate boys because the show will be a big part of our upcoming Vegas trip. 4M astutely pointed out that I might be able to get us some primo seats, being a member in good standing of Team Celine. If I don’t have the appropriate amount of pull, I know that The Upgrade King will come through for us. All he has to do is whisper in the ear of the concierge at The Palms and we’ll be in the front row. Given that, I know that TK is not going to lay that “I gotta work” crap on us.

Now that I’ve brought up The UK, it allows me to segue into the main reason for this post. You'll notice that I’ve dressed this one up with a picture. I’ve already improved my blog with the “easy read” format for The UK and now I’m posting pics as he has previously suggested. This one is to promote my good friend Jimmy The Wig’s latest business venture. I’m really psyched because he’s going bi-coastal and I’ll have an opportunity to see him more often. He already has a string of high end night clubs in northern Jersey and now he’ll be opening his first place on the west coast. He’s currently searching for a young celebrity they can carry out on opening night.

Changing gears, is it just me or do any of you also wish you could have the kind of repartee so often heard on The Gilmore Girls?