DJ's Detritus

A Creative Writing Class Dropout's Last Refuge

Monday, November 27, 2006

Give Tanks

We packed up my wife’s tank and headed south last Tuesday at 6am. It was a merry trip to Grandma’s house in Carlsbad, done in record time, for us, of 8 hours flat. This included a gustatory treat at the Iron Skillet, at the foot of the Grapevine. They have a special section there, “for drivers only”. I wanted to crash it but I wasn’t dressed properly plus I had three pain in the butt kids trailing me. They saw us coming and put us in a special section in the back. I’m sure it’s referred to as the “isolation tank” amongst the staff there. They let in a family with a couple rug rats a short while later but otherwise we had the area to ourselves.

Once we settled in, I ordered an Alka-Seltzer appetizer since son #1 had been handling the driving chores. I mentioned to my wife that I wanted son #2 to have something hearty since all he had earlier was some toaster waffles in the car. The waitress promptly informed me that they didn’t serve waffles. And she was just getting started. When orange juice was mentioned, a diatribe on the failings of their distributor broke loose. There are so many things about the food service industry I didn’t know. Before we left, son #1 made sure there was nothing left on anybody’s plate. I just wish I could have had my favorite breakfast of waffles and OJ.

My wife took over the driving duties through L.A. I’ve never been able to figure out their byzantine road system. She and #1, both So Cal natives, previously discussed various routes and I needed a translator. “You take the 405 to 73 to the 5 blah blah blah” What the hell does that get you to, the 483? Do the math. It was a great deal easier back in my old stomping grounds in the Empire State. Either you took 17, 17A, 17K, or 17M. No confusion there.

So we got to Grandma’s house earlier than expected. It would have been nice if she was there to greet us but we had to wait in the driveway for ten minutes for her and Gramps to come home. I somehow can’t help but think that this was a calculated response. I like to think of myself as a good son-in-law but that is not a widely held opinion in the San Diego area. That’s why I brought my own wine. I wanted to make sure I got the good stuff.

We had a free day Wednesday so my wife and I took son #1 for a tour of UC San Diego. I think it would be ideal for him since they have strong science programs and, according to our student guide, there are many places on campus where you can get excellent chow. That combined with the fact that it’s a good fit for my wallet pretty much nails it.

We had a great meal Thanksgiving Day, thanks to all the women of the household. Gramps and I watched a lot of football and made ourselves available for jar opening, consultation regarding oven temperatures etc. We also had a lively discussion regarding cooking methods. I mentioned that our Thanksgiving last year at TCG’s house featured a couple of #1’s deep fried turkeys. A family friend we visited Wednesday said they are trying a steaming method. We told them about our high heat roasting method we did a few years back. This discussion inspired me and I asked Grandma if I could stir fry the turkey. Unfortunately she didn’t have a wok.

We lazed around Friday eating leftovers and then hit the road Saturday morning. The trip back went pretty well. We couldn’t get a reservation at In-N-Out Burger in beautiful Santa Clarita so had to settle for Wendy’s. The trip back took about an hour longer but that was OK. The picturesque vistas on I5 made the time pass quickly.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Animal Lover

I think I made it perfectly clear on my October 11 post that I’m an animal lover. If I didn’t have three kids, I might go get some more pets. I was reading a great article in today’s Chronicle about alternative veterinary medicine, entitled “Howlistic Pet Care”. I love a play on words even more than animals. They discussed the use of “acupuncture, Chinese herbs, and homeopathy”. I’m all for it. My pet porcupine has been under the weather for a while so I’m considering pet acupuncture for him. I wonder if they can do anything for a snarky Wolverine.

Switching over to the sports page, Bob Geren, the A’s new manager, “promises to be supportive and communicative”. That’s great but I didn’t know that was part of the required skill set for an MLB manager. I just thought they had to be able to fill out a lineup card and spit tobacco juice.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Productivity Plus

I didn’t realize that W was one of my readers until the most recent comment on my last post. He must have taken time from his Asian trip to dip into the liberal end of the blogosphere, perhaps to come up some fresh ideas. One pundit last night stated that he joined the Texas National Guard to get out of Vietnam and now he’s going to Vietnam to get out of Washington. W also brought up my lack of productivity on his note. He should talk. I don’t think he has a grasp on the responsibilities I have. As a member of my company’s crackerjack IT team, I’ve been busily working on a suite of counter-productivity tools for the last couple weeks, so I’ve had little time to blog.

Work is OK but my real dream is start a real estate empire with Unc. I figure he’ll supply the seed money and the tradesman skills and I’ll be the idea guy. My plan is to get us on an episode of “Flip This House”. We're both pretty enough to be celebrity real estate investors so it should work out. It looks like Unc just made a crack about my D on the “Ypsilanti Insanity” post but at least he’s reading my blog. Now I know that he likes me, he really likes me!

I patched up some of the spats mentioned on my previous post and had dinner with the townies. We went to a little Mexican place in San Mateo. One of the guys may be new to you. He’s The Computer Guy. We’ll just call him TCG. TCG and #1 showed up on time and started swilling beer right away. We waited a while for the other guys but then said the hell with it and ordered dinner. The Banker showed up a bit later. He started pounding cervezas with the other guys. I had to keep my eye on these chuckleheads so I stuck to water. About an hour into dinner we get a call from The Exec. He was having a big day in the big city and couldn’t be there on time. He barked out his order from his cell phone and we sheepishly submitted it to the waiter. His food was ready when he walked in. We all enjoyed our meals except The Exec. His standards are just a little higher. Although he can be a bit haughty, The Exec is not without his own problems. The career is going like gangbusters but all is not well at home. His daughter is not talking to him since the Mercedes he bought her was used. But enough about him. After these characters finished their beers, we headed to the cinema to watch Borat. It was funny in spots but way over the top. DJ’s movie review: Save your $10.

The next night I met up again with #1, TCG and The Banker at our kid’s school’s fund raising auction. We were bored with each other at that point but the wives had a good time. My wife managed to bid on two separate SF hotel and dinner packages. That’s just what I need, two nights in the city for a cool grand. Fortunately we got outbid on one of them so I won’t have to hock her engagement ring. The food at the event was excellent, especially the sashimi appetizers. They weren’t skimping on the drinks either. The Banker put in a bid on the wide screen TV but didn’t go the distance. TCG bought one last year so Super Bowl Sunday is at his house.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Throw the Bums Out

The people have spoken. And after watching 10 minutes of W’s press conference, I wish he wouldn’t. At least he sent Rummy to the showers. It looks like he’ll be bringing in more of Daddy’s team, which hopefully will moderate the influence of Dick “Mr. Sunshine” Cheney. Things are looking up. Maybe that checks and balances thing will even come back into vogue.

On the personal front, I’m pissed at most of my friends. I wanted to play social director and invite the townies to go see Borat. #1 beat me to the punch. He even got fancy and sent out an Evite invite. Then in the ensuing email barrage, #2 told us he’d rather go to Canada. He appears to be putting his career ahead of his friends. The Exec hurled some insults my way but since he can’t spell, the impact was minimized. On another matter, I got a whacko comment from The Wolverine about my previous post. That cat ain’t a poet and he don’t know it. If he keeps flapping him gums, I'm going to have to open up a cafeteria size can of whoopass on him. Like the Cards did to the Tigers.

I was at the club recently doing some TriBathalon training and I saw a lady registering a “suggestion” with the staff. Since the indoor pool is closed for a few months, the kids have to do their swimming lessons outside. She said there should be heat lamps by the pool. I clammed up but wanted to explain to her that we were in California, not Siberia. I had it a hell of a lot tougher when I was a kid. I walked two miles to school in the snow. 4M had it even tougher. He walked to school in the snow in The Bronx. 4M and his lovely bride came by this past weekend. I served a “restaurant quality” osso buco. 4M brought the following gems, in order of appearance:

1996 Bert Simon Serrig Wurtberg Riesling
2004 Vihuela Concierto del Rojo
1998 Turley Rattlesnake Acres Petite Syrah

He was not particularly impressed with the Vihuela. I was not particularly impressed with him.

Speaking of weather, it’s getting to be that time of year when I have to send the daily weather report to my friend JB. I’ve mentioned her once before. She’s the one that used my letters as kindling about 20 years ago. Genius that could have been posted on my blog as my early work went up in smoke. My university’s librarian is lamenting that tragic loss. So I like to send JB the NorCal weather report and ask her to compare and contrast it to the upstate NY weather scene. She responds but sometimes she can get grumpy. Maybe it’s cabin fever. JB is the most famous lawyer in her town of two thousand people. Most people don’t know that The University of Phoenix has a law school but she is one of their most prominent grads. I’m sure she’ll have some witty comments that she’ll post in response to this. As long as they aren’t too witty. It’s my blog and nobody’s stealing my thunder.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Upgrades R Us

As you can see, I’ve recently upgraded my blog. I was inspired by The Upgrade King, who gave me several ideas. He mentioned that the background of the old template caused glare on his “big monitor”. Read “upgraded monitor”. It is my fervent hope that the new background is easier on his eyes. He started talking about RSS feeds etc. but when you have three readers it’s a moot point. He also stated that he can’t write and has nothing to blog about. While that is true, it did not seem to stop him, so I’ve included a link to his web site on my upgraded blog.

I’m thinking of flying east to give my good bud The Wolverine a hug. I get the feeling he’s been curled in a fetal position since his beloved Tigers couldn’t get out of their own way in the World Serious. A couple of on-target lobs to the third baseman could have made a world of difference. I know he’ll bounce back. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed but he’s got spunk. Go Red Wings!

In other news, I have not given up my quest to join the National Enquirer although my celebrity updates have been few and far between lately. I hope to rectify that situation. I did get 6 out of 7 on a recent AOL celeb quiz so I think I still have what it takes. One of the questions was about J Lo not paying for her private jet. I got that one right because J Lo is one of my faves. I want to stay on her good side. I also read that she practices Santeria, according to her first ex-husband. I don’t want to get any spells cast on me. It might cause me to start writing something interesting. However, I’m usually immune to that type of stuff. Unc and The Wolverine attempted several times to throw a wall of voodoo up on me on the basketball court, to no avail.

I get a lot of my items off of my work pager. They have news and sports updates but I always go straight to the entertainment section. One update stated that Mel Gibson had been sober for 65 days. That was great news. The down side is that he’s still a butthead.

I gotta head out to the gym to put in some time on TriBathalon training. Somebody there tried talking me into going to spinning class. I had to decline. I’ve tried spinning on my own several times and it just made me dizzy.