The Look

There's been quite the hullabaloo over Miley Cyrus' VMA performance. She's a child seeking attention, but since she has a lot of dough, perhaps she should hire some advisers that would explain to her that these antics don't do her much good. 

http://tinyurl.com/qged6dg

My club has a new program called Babilates, that purports to "tone your body and get in shape as you connect and bond with your little one". I wish they had this kind of stuff 20 years ago. I might have bonded with my kids. After the workout I wonder if they head to Starbucks for a Babilatte.

I saw this headline recently.

"Researchers Grow Human 'Mini Brains'"

About three paragraphs in my blog was mentioned in reference to "tolerance tests".

I was driving down 101 Tuesday morning and came upon a motorcyclist with a pink mohawk on his helmet. I think that is cooler, by an order of magnitude, than any personalized license plate. And I've been waiting to use the term "order of magnitude" in this blog for over six years.

I'm going for a haircut today. I was talking to my wife last night about changing up my "look" but she wasn't very supportive. I told her I was going to go with a buzz cut and grow my beard back at some point. She said it made me look old. How can a geezer not look old? We were then watching some TV and caught a report about Rihanna changing her look on a daily basis. I told my wife that if Rihanna can do it daily, I can do it once or twice a year. Speaking of looks, I love this one from the recent Venice Film Festival.

You Call This Content?

You may have caught the recent news that The Patch laid off a large portion of their workforce. Historians will trace the downfall of The Patch to the discontinuance of my column. Part of my schtick was a monthly commentary on the FC police log. I'm returning to my roots, but including events from other Peninsula towns this time around. Going forward, it'll be the all FCPD all the time as I'm now on their daily mailing list. The blotter items are below with my remarks in italics.

Two people pulled over Half Moon Bay were sober, but had illegally caught crabs

Give them a break. Having crabs is no picnic.

A resident accused a neighbor of throwing toilet paper on her property. When contacted the neighbor said indeed she had, but only because her accuser had cast the first roll.

Let he who is without sin cast the first roll.

A woman who removed price tags in a dressing room, then stepped out in brand-new cheetah print pants and a matching purse, gold shoes and a black jacket, was arrested by waiting officers.

The charge was bad taste

A woman in a store at closing time was seen taking a picture of the ATM.

Non-story. I have several ATM pics framed on my wall.

A man pounding on a person's door was reported to be wrapped in a cape and wearing a crown.

Burger King?

Occurred on Greenwich Ln, Fcy. RP reports a male identifying himself as the IRS just called him & demanded payment for $5000 in unpaid taxes. Advice rendered and NFPAD. Disposition: Service Provided.

Since the call came in at 12:30am, I think you need to block that caller.

Occurred on Spinnaker, Fcy. RP reports 2 subjects in a van parked in the driveway of a neighbor's residence. RP questioned the subjects who stated they were carpet cleaners, however, it didn't appear they had any cleaning equipment. Officers contacted a male/female who were in possession of a signed contract to clean the carpets; cleaning equipment was observed in the van. Disposition: Checks Ok.

Now why would anyone lie about being a carpet cleaner?

Occurred on Beach Park Bl, Fcy. Report of three vehicles and one subject with a camera. Contact made: determined to be enthusiasts photographing their cars. Disposition: Unfounded.

Whether you are car enthusiast or an ATM enthusiast, some folks need to

learn to leave well enough alone.

Occurred at Touchless Car Wash on Foster City Bl, Fcy. Audible alarm reported.Disposition: False Alarm.

I see ones like this a lot. Isn't audible alarm redundant?

Occurred at Recreation Center on Shell Bl, Fcy. Citizen at the front counter requests to speak to an officer regarding activity at the Vibe. Disposition: Service Provided.

The Vibe is the teen center. Damn kids. I'll be able to start complaining about them in a few years, right after I sign up for my AARP card.

Pedestrian Stop: Officer initiated activity at Black Angus, Chess Dr, Foster City.Disposition: Checks Ok.

I disagree. I wouldn't rate Black Angus even an OK.

Occurred on E Hillsdale Bl, Fcy. Assistance rendered to Foster City FD on a medical call. Determined to be Coroner's case. Disposition: Report Taken.

Nuff said

Celeb Update

As I mentioned last time, I got together with the boys Friday night. TCG showed up as well since his wife let him out. Nothing of interest was said all evening. Therefore we are going t talk about celebrities. Instead of me posting dopey comments on my FB page, I'm going to post dopey comments here. I'll do this while listening to The Lemonheads channel on Pandora. Try it some time.

The hot one, which clamorous rag HuffPo was all over, is the burgeoning rift between the Kardashian and Couric camps. Of course, I have not read the whole article, as that would be a greater waste of time than reading my blog. But I have managed to capture the gist of the issue. Apparently Katie send Kim a baby gift and now Kim is calling Katie a fake media friend. KK calling anybody fake is a stretch. If you want more, do your own academic research.

In other Kardashian news, Kourtney's paternity test has proven that Scott Disick is the father. Not something to be proud of, but apparently better than the alternative. Now that this chapter has come to a close, I think we should all go back to respecting their privacy.

For the trifecta, you got rumors of Lamar cheating on Khloe. Yes, it hurts me too.

4M alerted me to the fact that Charlie Sheen is on vacation with three porn stars. He'll be dead soon.

Helen Hunt was reportedly a knockout at 50 in a bathing suit. Not unattractive, but let's lighten up on the hyperbole.

Lots of barely clothed Miley Cyrus news. I think we should all keep in mind that is is pretty warm in L.A. in the summer.

I'm going to ask for their definition of "off our radar"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/15/random-celebrity-couples_n_3749610.html?icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl6|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D359012

It is difficult to comprehend that there is an entire industry devoted to reporting this crap. But it is not my role to think too much.

Dashboard Confessional

Besides for a band name, what the hell is that? In any case, I have my own confession to make. I've been a complete slug in the blog department. Bless me readers, it's been almost two months since my last post. This lassitude comes to an end today. I am re-instituting the weekly SLA. Go ahead, pinch yourself.

To catch you up, my corporate life continues to be fascinating. I'll leave it at that. The social life has been active, as many people seek me out to add a dash of excitement to their otherwise mundane lives. I got a call out of the blue from The Poughkeepise Kid yesterday. He was at a conference down here so I invited him over for dinner. We had a grilled steaks then dug on Reverend Al's greatest hits. Tonight I'm seeing the numbers and The Exec. I hope to have something interesting to write about after our get together. I am an optimist.

The wife and I had a great vacation a few weeks back. We went to Seattle, Vancouver and Victoria. It was my first time north of the border. Only one major fight and a few spats. We had great weather, as it rained only at the end of the trip. It was the region's longest dry period since 1958. We played tourists in Seattle, with a duck boat tour and Space Needle visit. Vancouver was a cool town. We had a great dinner at a place called La Quercia. Do the family style dinner if you ever go. At dinner the following night, we saw actress Krysten Ritter supping at the bar. I recognized her from her appearances on Breaking Bad, which the wife and I have recently made short work of via Netflix. Now I understand what one of my old work buddies was raving about. Good show.

On a recent commute I saw personalized license plates coming and going. On the way down a Mercedes had "My (whatever the hell model it was)". I'm not sure why people need to point that out. If you're driving it, the odds are its yours. On the way home there was a Honda sports car with the plate announcing "FSTR N U". I mention this one only because I was deeply impressed.

This pic just ruined my morning.