DJ's Detritus

A Creative Writing Class Dropout's Last Refuge

Monday, March 30, 2009

Out Like A Lamb

I figured I had to get one more in this month. I’m still in competition with The Exec. He’s been cranking out posts on an almost daily basis since he re-introduced his blog a few months back.

We welcomed #1 to The Geezer Club this weekend. We had quite the soiree at his abode Saturday night for his 50th. His worlds collided when the village folks mixed with work folks, the Scout leadership team, and some of his pre-village pals. It wasn’t always pretty but there was enough high end booze and chow to keep a lid on things.

As is our custom, we put together a presentation to honor the birthday boy. Although The Exec was a driving force behind the project concept and TCG again asked excellent clarifying questions, I’m dedicating today’s post to #2. He spent countless hours cutting and splicing, or at least cutting and pasting, to come up with the final product. We’ll be at Sundance next year.

Welcome to the working week. I was on my way down to the cafeteria with a buddy today when I came up with a new diversion: elevator cage match. But since he’s about 6’5” and 240, I decided I would just introduce the idea as opposed to doing a demo.

This afternoon, I headed to one of my favorite lunch spots in San Jose, Hunan Taste. I highly recommend it. I often go with 4M but we’ve been on the outs lately. He has declined several pleas to be my Facebook friend. Then he knocked me for a loop a few weeks ago. We were supposed to go up to the city to see Lady Gaga. He calls me at the last minute and tells me he’s heading to L.A. for the weekend. I’ve invested 40 years in our friendship and sometimes it causes me nothing but hurt.

So, on my way to HT, I passed the Teamsters Local 287 on Fourth St. Milling about outside were four guys with turbans and long beards. I know we’ve got a global economy but these guys somehow don’t fit the typical Teamster image.

I went to the airport last week to say adios to my old man. He’s beginning the second season of his reality show, Geriatric Philippine Adventure. I bought some cashews to nosh on but he strong armed me for half the bag. Then they asked him for ID when he was checking in. He said “You talking to me? Who the hell you talking to? You talking to me?” His wife calmed him down and they got their bags checked without further incident. Then my siblings and I skedaddled while we had the chance. As I was pulling out of short term parking, I noticed the attendant’s name plate: CAM L. I kid you not.

Happy 64th Eric Clapton

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Little Whine

My name is DJ and I work in a corporate loony bin. I cannot make rhyme or reason out of half the shit I see on a daily basis. Getting things done is not a simple proposition. It would probably be worse if I was a climber so I’m better off being an “individual contributor”. That term is an example of the corporate bastardization of the English language, but a relatively minor one. They use “reach out” a lot these days, as in contact someone. I’m going to reach out and slug somebody someday. Preferably after my 401k recovers.

OK, the work day is over and I’m a glass half full kind of guy. That’s why I have Binghamton going to the sweet sixteen in one of my brackets, the one where no money is involved. I saw a sportswriter and my bud #1 call it “Binghampton”. There is no p in Binghamton fellas. Get it right! It’s the jewel of the Southern Tier.

We had a corned beef and cabbage feast last night. Yeah, I know it’s not Irish. Feel free to leave a comment. I’ll ignore it. I went to Draegers to get the corned beef. We got one at Safeway last year and it was akin to a salt lick. My daughter made a good sized round of Irish soda bread to go with it, of which we ate about half. My wife cut up some food for son #2. He’s a big fan of the taquito and mini quiche but he we make him eat what the rest of us eat once in a while. Last night was one of those nights, to his chagrin. He pushed it away and went back to TV. After dinner we all headed to different parts of the house. About a half hour later I was informed that sonny boy two had devoured the other half of the soda bread. The carpet was covered with crumbs, as he likes to nosh in front of the TV when the opportunity presents itself.


Sunday, March 08, 2009

Save Me, Daylight

Was it the two cups of Peets or daylight savings time? I don’t know, but I’ve been hyped all morning. I’ll take son #2 for a swim this afternoon and that will hopefully chill me out. My wife and daughter are probably tired of me ranting and running around the house. Who cares! I’m pissed at the wife again. She didn’t say it in so many words but I’m sensing a shift in her feelings. It could just be insecurity on my part but I think things have changed as my looks have faded. Maybe I’ll get back at her by changing my Facebook relationship status to “it’s complicated”.

I headed out to Mollie Stone’s this morning. I usually do the big shop at Safeway on Saturday and pick up a few specialty items on Sunday. The Clash’s “Lost in the Supermarket” played on the radio on my way there to get me in the mood. Among other things, I picked up a ham shank to make a nonpareil lentil soup. I actually gave #1 a ham shank as a gift once, and to the best of my knowledge, the ingrate never used it. I also got some pizza dough for calzones. Here’s a good recipe for the less incompetent among you.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Arugula-and-Ricotta-Calzones-233791


On my way back, I was stopped at the light at Hillsdale and Edgewater. I took a look in the rear view mirror just as the guy behind me started to pick his nose. I broke into a spontaneous play by play. “He’s going in with his pinky, tentatively at first, but now with more conviction. Holy cow, he’s up to the second knuckle! Hold on to your seats folks. OK, he’s starting to pull out. Now he’s rolling it. Will he flick it? Will he?”

Before I forget, I’d like to apologize to Rush Limbaugh for the spitballs.

Hey, did you see The Exec’s latest blog post? No? Don’t worry, no one else has either. In it, he told me, not asked me, to do some wine research for him. Well, I didn’t find the wine but I did get this for him.



Monday, March 02, 2009

Puhleeze!

Brazen Blago just landed a book deal. He plans to expose the “dark side of politics”. Hey pal, you already wrote the book.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

The Week That Was

Say Happy Birthday to my blog. It turns three today.

I spent most of my week at CPAC, which I’m a little embarrassed about. I thought it was the CPAP convention. I was looking to get further educated on my sleeping disorder. But since I was there, I made the most of it. I spent most of my time shooting spitballs and farting in the general direction of Limbaugh, Santorum, Gingrich et al. I heard the GOP described as the party of no and I think that is apt. Maybe GOP should stand for Getting Oblivious Prettydamnquick.

The highlight of my time there was seeing 13 year old Jonathan Krohn speak. He was voted "Atlanta's Most Talented Child" in 2006. Speaking of talent, Hannah Montana will be giving the rebuttal to his speech.

Facebook has a new group.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=53556541031

If you’re the Facebook type, I encourage you to join.