The Mitten State

What the hell happened to the collegiate hoopsters from Michigan yesterday? That was tough to watch. Condolences to The Wolverine and The Hoteliers.

The Tattoo Expo was this weekend at the Cow Palace. Due to a scheduling conflict, i could not attend. I had to make nice at a baby shower my wife threw yesterday. At one point the fact that I eat two bananas a day came up and one women asked if I ever poop. I should have told her I didn't know her well enough to discuss the topic. I got to escape for a bit to drive the girl to the airport. She was home for the week before she begins the last quarter of her junior year.

The twins turned 21 last month. The older guy hits 24 next month. The numbers celebrated birthdays recently. I remain forever young.

Thanks to Gwyneth, I will now refer to spooning as unconscious coupling.

I think I'm losing my edge. I had absolutely no idea that Jared Leto and Cameron Diaz were engaged at one point.

Anybody got $20k to spare for The Hoff

http://tinyurl.com/od786zg

Big Dance

Welcome to DJ's Blogging Center of Excellence. By now you should have received your invitation to my March Madness pool, unless you live in Sweden.

Have you ever heard of a band called Portugal, The Man? They're coming to The Greek next month. Their opening act is Hank, The Country.

I see that the FBI has been brought in to assist in the search for flight 370. I think the next logical step is to involve Courtney Love.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57620485-71/courtney-love-i-may-have-found-missing-malaysian-plane/

Tomorrow is International Day of Happiness. I plan to spend it in Milpitas, miserable in my cube.

The Gift

The posh club is the gift that keeps on giving. Last month I told you about the toenail caper. I was there yesterday for an early swim. In the shower right next to me was another fellow. I thought at first he was just hocking a loogey. However, by the the time I wrapped it up, which I did as quickly as possible, I believe he had managed to empty his entire nasal cavity as well as a good portion of his trachea. Who the hell needs a neti pot when you got a public shower stall. They have signs about not spitting in there. Spitting would be a gross - and I mean gross - understatement.

I see Adam Lambert is touring with Queen. What would Freddie think? Paul Rogers may have been an odd choice but the dude is a rocker. I just don't think this American Idol runner up fits the bill. The lead guitarist may have a PhD in astrophysics, but maybe he's not so smart.

Gaga, I've been puked on before. It was a long time ago and it was usually just a smidgeon. I never considered it art.

Worn Out

Man, work is getting hectic, not that I don't love it.  Here's a snapshot of my typical day.

Best Of

Only the choicest items from recent FCPD logs were used in this post.

21:41 Misc Noise Complaint 140224109

Occurred on Chrysopolis Dr, Fcy. RP reports hearing what she describes as a rabid raccoon in the green belt behind her home. Contact made with RP and area is GOA/UTL. Disposition: Quiet on Arrival/Departure.

I want to know how she determined it was rabid.

15:20 City Ordinance Violation 140221077

Occurred on Edgewater Bl., Fcy. RP requesting assistance with contacting a female who is teaching tennis lessons at the park. Parks Department contacted and is responding to assist the RP and does not desire police response at this time. Disposition: Cancelled While Enroute.

"Well officer, I saw her teaching tennis and I was captivated. I'd like to meet her. Could the PD help me with that? Oh, never mind."

18:48 Soliciting w/o a Permit 140221098

Occurred on E Hillsdale Bl., Fcy. RP reports a WMA attempting to sell Armani suits out of his white Kia SUV and is currently circling the parking lot. Subject contacted, admonished and FI'd. Disposition: Field Interview from Incident.

I don't see an issue. The last Armani suit I bought out of a Kia SUV fit like a glove.

22:46 Unclassified 140221107

Occurred on Beach Park Bl, Fcy. RP reports a subject claiming to be Lt. Willis of the SMPD 'Warrants Department' left a voicemail for her regarding an urgent matter. There is no such person or department at SMPD. Informational case taken. Disposition: Report Taken.

What you talking bout Willis.

01:35 Alarm - Commercial 140219004

Occurred on Chess Dr. , Fcy. Audible alarm sounding, warehouse motion. Checks secure. . Disposition: False Alarm

I know I've said it before but I don't think we need the adjective "audible" in these instances. And I'm very interested in learning more about the "warehouse motion".

15:16 Citizen Assist 140212071

Occurred on Gull Av., Fcy. 911 caller reports she has been locked out of her mail truck and is unable to contact anyone at the Post Office. Post Office contacted and supervisor en route to assist. Disposition: Log Note Only.

I was wondering why my mail was so late.

05:24 Suspicious Circumstances 140214030

Occurred on Foster City Bl, Fcy. Report of a subject in a dark sedan in the fire lane. Subject appeared to hunker down as the RP passed. Subject contacted, determined to be a resident watching a film in his car so as not to disturb his family. . Disposition: Unfounded.

That is one considerate fellow. I'd tell my family to piss off. Who paid for the damn TV anyway.

11:56 Citizen Assist 140214072

Occurred on St Vincent Ln, Fcy. RP requesting an exterior check of his residence after the suspicious subjects were reported last night. Rp has information from a neighbor that the subjects may have been in his yard and at his front door. . Disposition: Checks Ok.

Dude, its high noon. Go do the exterior check yourself.

21:38 Unclassified 140214151

Occurred at San Mateo Bridge on San Mateo Bridge. , Fcy. Green laser being directed at incoming aircraft by a subject just north of the SM Bridge. Extensive area check made, various pedestrians contacted, no laser strikes seen. . Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

RP watching too much sci fi

01:22 Disturbance 415 PC 140215008

Officer initiated activity at Edgewater Bl/Metro Center Bl, Foster City. Verbal dispute between friends was mediated. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

The Wig was in town and we got into it. We are both very sorry.

21:43 Suspicious Vehicle 140216099

Occurred on Surfbird Isle, Fcy. RP reports an occupied vehicle double parked in front of the home for the last ten minutes. . Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

Surfbird Isle is no traffic hub like Gull Ave., but I could see that double parked car might have made one or two vehicles go around it. Thanks for calling the department.

07:52 Petty Theft 140211016

Occurred at St. Lukes Catholic Church on Beach Park Bl. Fcy. RP rpts theft of a sign from in front of the church. Disposition: Report Taken.

Was it the "Confessions R Us" sign?

11:36 Found Property 140211039

Occurred at Sea Cloud Park on Sea Cloud Dr. Fcy. Front counter RP turns in a Fitbit located at 1600hrs yesterday. Fitbit booked into property as found. Disposition: Report Taken.

I'd be lost without my Fitbit.

00:42 Suspicious Circumstances 140203001

Occurred at Crowne Plaza Foster City on Chess Dr. Fcy. Front desk reports someone has checked in and they've since learned they've used a fraudulent credit card Subjects contacted who agreed to leave the property. . Disposition: Report Taken.

He agreed to leave the property and go to the slam.

03:10 Citizen Assist 140203005

Occurred on Shell Bl, Fcy. RP reports that a female who resides in India is calling him and harassing him. Advice rendered. Disposition: Service Provided.

Usually its the other way around. "Is this customer service? I got a beef"

16:00 Suspicious Circumstances 140203071

Occurred on Chess Dr. Fcy. RP rpts an HMA, 5'7 wearing glasses in a white truck with high wood panels in the bed, trying to take a washing machine from the rear of the business. Subject put back the machine after the RP spoke to him. RP does not desire contact and is more concerned about the subject taking things that don't belong to him. Area checked negative. Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

That guy has moxie. I've never tried moving a washing machine by myself.

09:01 Suspicious Person 140201019

Occurred on Celestial Ln, Fcy. 2nd hand info of an unk WMA sitting in the driveway with a smashed guitar, a large white board and writing material. Subj contacted who was determined to live at listed residence. Disposition: Checks Ok.

Turns out it was Pete Townshend

17:53 Disturbance 415 PC 140201044

Occurred at Spinnaker Cove on Sea Spray Ln. Fcy. RP reports there is a gray car near the clubhouse which a large group of juveniles are jumping on and skateboarding on. RP calls back to advise subjects left in the car prior to Officers arrival. Disposition: Cancelled While Enroute.

I just bought my kid a new gray car. I hope she doesn't do stuff like this.

07:35 Animal Calls - Other 140129014

Officer initiated activity at Corp Yard, E 3D Av, Foster City. Resident flags down officer to report a dead Harbor Seal on the pedway by the water tanks. The seal weighs approx 400 lbs and has been washed ashore since last week. Several agencies were contacted including the Marine Mammal Society, the CA Academy of Sciences, US Coast Guard, Fish & Game and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration however none can help with the removal of the carcass. DPW to handle. Disposition: Completed.

Several agencies said "can't touch this"

08:59 Suspicious Circumstances 140128024

Occurred on Vintage Park Dr.Fcy. RP would like to speak with an officer regarding unknown(s) "hijacking" an 800 number belonging to his company, using it as their caller ID while making calls in an attempt to obtain personal/credit card information from random people. RP has already reported this to the phone company. Disposition: Report Taken.

Nothing of general interest in this one but I included because I love telecom themed items.

22:55 Welfare Check 140128116

Occurred on Foster City Bl, Fcy. Detective receives Facebook message requesting a welfare check on a resident. Resident has a note posted on her door regarding Health Care and asking others to be patient. Contact made with resident who is getting new healthcare and wanted to post the note on her front door. Disposition: Checks Ok.

I can't quite figure this one out but I did learn I can contact the cops via Facebook.