DJ's Detritus

A Creative Writing Class Dropout's Last Refuge

Friday, March 15, 2024

Where Am I?

As I texted to my old pal 4M the other day, I was wondering if I had died and gone to hell, or I was just at the San Mateo DMV. It turned out it was the latter. Of course, I had made an appointment.  I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near the joint if I hadn’t. The mass of humanity I encountered there was frightening, so I was on edge until my number came up.  I was applying for a REAL ID and since the name on my passport and the name on my license differ, I had to do the paperwork dance. My passport has my middle name, and my license didn’t. After making my $45 contribution, I had to get a new photo taken.  My timing was bad. I had just gotten a haircut, but one that was dictated by my wife to our haircutter.  The wife wants it longer so it can be combed back, since the girl’s wedding is coming up soon.  So after my haircut and before my DMV appointment, I gelled it up real good and brushed it back.  Since it was still pretty short, by the time the gel dried up, my hair was sticking up an inch or two.  This is the picture that will probably be on my license for the rest of my life, an Eraserhead look, except in gray.

Multi-billionaire and Binghamton grad Jeff Yass made the pilgrimage to Mar-A-Logo to chat with the Orange Duce about TikTok.  Trump had previously been for banning the app, but he had a change of heart after Yass’ visit.  I mentioned to #1 that I had seen this news on Chris Hayes’ show.  All he said was “F@#%ERS!!”. We agreed wholeheartedly. You can read more here.

https://www.politico.com/news/2024/03/14/trump-tiktok-billionaire-donors-00146892

Speaking of #1, I tried to give him some of my peerless investment advice. I let him know Wednesday that he still had time to join me in an ADBE strangle. I had a $590 call and a $560 put.  They reported after hours yesterday and the street was disappointed, dropping the stock $80 this morning. I made a tidy profit after deducting the call cost. But in reality, it is not a good idea to give friends betting investment tips, as that could cause a contretemps. 

Friday, March 08, 2024

Ask Your Doctor

As I mentioned in my last post, I recently had my annual physical.  During my visit, I asked my doctor about Skyrizi, Ozempic, Chantix and Otezla.  He ordered me to stop watching TV for a month.

Elsewhere on the medical front, my wife took a tumble on Sunday and broke her pinky finger and her elbow.  The elbow required surgery, so now I’m doing the cooking AND the cleaning, as well as other tasks as needed. But, no worries, I do it out of love.  However, in our time of great need, #1 decided this would be a good time to fly off to Paris.  I’m surprised the SOB didn’t ask me for a ride to SFO.

Have you been keeping up with the royals? I have! I saw that an exhausted Camilla was taking a break from royal duties.  Cutting ribbons and trying to keep that horndog Charles happy cannot be easy. And a headline in today’s Daily Beast asked the question if Prince Edward’s royal moment had finally come.  All I can say is I certainly hope so.

In celeb news, Tish Cyrus hired security to keep her daughter Noah out of her wedding, and it was not because Noah is scary looking.  Apparently, Noah used to “date” the groom.  That entire family gives me the creeps.

The swag bags at the Oscars are valued at $178k. We’re all going to hell.  

Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, February 29, 2024

USVI Wig Experience ‘24

I didn’t manage to launch this rocket from the islands, but I made some notes on the plane.

First off, many thanks to Wigs one and all for the invite and the bonhomie. I’ve referred to Wig’s brother in a couple posts as The Running Beast so that, or RB, is now his official blog name.

RB and his wife made the trip to St. John to participate in the 8 Tuff Miles run, which consists of a lot of hills, just like the island itself.  The Wigs and my wife and I lounged around the manor while they were toughing it out, sending good vibes to the competitors.

We stayed in a spacious villa in a gated community.  Some might say it was gated to keep me in, but that’s just idle talk. The only problem we had was the master suite inhabited by the RBs had a faulty shower, providing them lukewarm water at best.  They solved that problem by not showering after the first day. Oh, I kid.

The whole crew had some good meals. Our first night was at 1864, which served up some pretty tasty fare in an open-air setting. Reservations were a little tight due to the event, so we ended up at the Westin one night. It was pretty good, but the waiter had approximately 35 tables, so service was a little slow. Wig became grill master on our last evening, churning out burgers and seared tuna.

The Wigs and RBs were busy on the home front as well.  Both of them had kids that were negotiating job offers, so they had to huddle for some advisory sessions. And for the Wig, a day would not be complete without a real estate transaction, so they sold their current home and will be moving down the street about 100 yards. They close on June 14th, which I pointed out will be the 50th anniversary of my high school graduation.

We had several beach excursions.  We went to Hawk’s Nest and Trunk Bay on St. John. The water was warm and inviting, and the views were gorgeous. Parking was a little precarious, but our Jeep was able to navigate the tougher spots. It was a five-seater that we turned into a six-seater with a beach chair in the back.

One of the trip highlights was our trek to Jost Van Dyke in BVI.  We got a new stamp on our passport then headed to the Soggy Dollar, which is run by the family of Mrs. RB. Earlier in the trip we were graciously welcomed to their home for dinner. We had a few cocktails and a tasty lunch at Soggy Dollar and I got a t-shirt. Towards the end of our stay there we got hit with heavy rain, but since we were in bathing suits and it was 80 degrees, we got through it OK.

My wife and I headed out on Monday.  We took a ferry ride over to St. Thomas.  The gruff captain told my wife to get moving as she tried to have our second ticket scanned. She’s a little sensitive, so I consoled her on the boat. The taxi to the airport took the non-scenic route but got us there in plenty of time. Going through security, I had to wait a bit for the 80-year-old TSA agent to notice me and wave me through the scanner. We spent the night in Ft. Lauderdale and treated ourselves to some extremely dicey Chinese food, since it was the only place within walking distance. I nibbled a bit of it, but the mystery meat in the dumplings put me off. We arrived back in the Bay mid-afternoon Tuesday, dealing with mild jet lag that evening.  I still may be dealing with it, as I got up at 4:30am today.

So, the President and I both had our annual physicals yesterday and the report was the same, in that we are both a “healthy, robust 81-year-old”.  You may remember Trump boasting about coasting through his dementia test, memorizing “Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.”. For the first time I got a version of that, with “Garden. Picture. Captain”. I didn’t do as well as the Orange Duce, but I passed.  They also had me fill in the numbers on a clock and put the hands at 11:20, the time of my appointment. I aced it. 

My apologies but I have not kept up with celebrity news during my travels, so I have no nuggets to share with you on that front. I hope my next post will be chock full of that type of info.

I’d like to wish my pal Katie a happy 17th birthday.





Wednesday, February 21, 2024

This is DJ...Now

I'm still as self-absorbed as ever.

We flew into Ft. Lauderdale on Saturday and hopped in a Lincoln town car supplied by my brother-in-law to hang with them in their West Palm winter digs for a few days. Sunday we took a cruise in the rain to check out a few houses on the market before we drove by Mar-a-Lago. I tried to stop in on 45 but, as ex-presidents often do, he was off on a sneaker marketing tour. When he gets done with that, he'll go back to casting aspersions on anyone and everyone that does not bend the knee while he tries to find some suckers from whom he can extract half a billion in cash to pay for his crimes.

We had a luxe dinner that night at Cafe L'Europe. My brother-in-law picked up the tab so I was on the hook for a couple meals.  I was going to suggest Wendy's or Mickey D's, but they outsmarted me and made a couple reservations for Monday and Tuesday. We ate at Renato's, where we had a dinner several years ago when we stayed at The Breakers for my wife's 60th birthday. I perused the wine list that had several four figure entries and settled on a California cab that didn't break the bank. The chow was good. Last night was an 8:30 reservation at Palm Beach Grill that threw my bedtime completely out of whack. I think we had been here before as well. This is a top spot to see and be seen. I encountered a couple plastic surgeries that almost jolted my appetite, but a Tanqueray martini set me straight. Two thumbs up for all these joints.

We said goodbye to the in-laws this morning with an extended hug-a-thon and headed to FLL for a flight to St. Thomas. The wife and I are at the Green Iguana for one night before we sail over to St. John's for the USVI Wig Experience '24. We'll be joining not one, but two Wigs, and their better halves. In this case, better halves is not merely an idiomatic expression. If your lucky, I'll be inspired to drop a post from St. John.

Wednesday, February 07, 2024

Rainy Days and Mondays

Like most normal people, my wife huddled in her home office with the space heater on this morning.  She’s generally an active senior, but she’s under the weather so I think today’s course of action is prudent. DJ, on the other hand, went to the outdoor pool at the posh club and did multiple laps on his back with the rain pouring in his face.  This was after a stretch and bike session. Yes, you are correct.  He is a BEAST.

This is my first post for February, but I do not expect it to be the last.  I have not recently caught any flak from #1, but that is mainly because he has been at Disney World for the last week.  In celebration of that, I bought some DIS puts. They report after the bell today and it is my fervent hope that they tank big time.

Yes, I’m back in the options game. I backed off a while ago after an extended losing streak, but my sister got me to put half of my remaining meager resources into some META $440 calls before earnings. Ka-ching! Now I got some dough to piss away.

There’s a possibility that I’ll be blogging from St. John’s later this month. The Wig’s brother told him to extend us an invite.  The Wig was firmly against it, as he had just seen me, but he was overruled. This will be an interesting trip.  I first met Wig’s brother in Binghamton, so we go way back. I can be cordial for a short period, like a wedding or family get together.  But three days with DJ? I’m not sure he has the constitutional fortitude for that.

So 4M shot a few blog ideas my way, which confused me because that son of a gun does not read my blog.  Once SB1 fixes the email application on this platform some time in 2027, I’ll start spamming him. His first idea was all the Taylor Swift prop bets floating around for the Super Bowl, like "will she wear an outfit made by Kyle Juszyck's wife" and other important stuff like that.  He also sent me this article, which led me to tell him I’m an old man and cannot keep up with crap like this.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/02/05/economy/loud-budgeting-financial-trend-tiktok/index.html

We had a home invasion a couple Fridays ago.  My wife had her work pals over for a soiree.  I dutifully stayed in my room for the duration, except to cop a chunk of lasagna.  I sometimes make a brief cameo and turn on the charm for a few minutes during these events, but not this time. I thought about asking “Aren’t you ladies glad I’m not a hugger”, but I’ll save that for another time.

I sometime bounce blog ideas off #1. I had told him a while back that I had an interesting post office experience.  The lady in front of me had a box labeled “human cremains”. I was going to ask who was in the box, but I thought the better of it.

I told you my chicken man story last time. My wife has since been to Costco to replenish our supply.  I made myself a note “chicken out” to get some out of the freezer.  I woke up the next day, before coffee, and saw it.  I briefly tried to recall what I was telling myself to chicken out of.

We went to a 70th birthday party Saturday night at Unc’s house. These events are becoming more common, regardless of the fact that I still look like I’m in my 40s. Unc tried to razz me when I was leaving.  He said he almost unsubscribed from the blog mailing list after my last post.  I told him, “You wish you could quit me.”

I’m keeping up with the latest Prince William news.  They said he was going back to work full-time.  I wondered whether he’d go into the office or work from castle.  And this is my FB take on another article.


Did you folks see the Grammys? It was nice to see Tay Tay finally get some recognition.  I liked the Tracy Chapman duet, but my biggest take away was “Why does Miley Cyrus have a career?”

GO NINERS!!









Tuesday, January 23, 2024

Pins and Needles

I had an acupuncture appointment this morning.  I’ve been going for a while now for neck and upper back stiffness and soreness, and it helps quite a bit.  Today I mentioned that I thought my blog motivation chi might be blocked. He stuck in a few extra needles and VOILA!

We’ve had some fun since my last post, because we are fun people.  The Wigs were in town a few weeks ago and we went up to the city to have dinner with them at Chapeau. Phillipe, the effusive owner, greeted us and made a fine wine recommendation, overriding the standard Zin order I usually place. That was at the behest of The Wig, a former restaurant professional. The Wigs also generously picked up the tab.

This was the start of their SF culinary tour, which I believe was curated by their two SF resident kids. The night after Chapeau they visited Copra, snagging a difficult reservation.  They had to dine at 5:30, but it was two thumbs up. The next night was Osito. Mrs. Wig described it as “Chateaubriandish”, harking back to a Paris meal we shared in 2014 and which I described in my 07/15/14 post. At the time Chateaubriand was named #27 in the top 50 world restaurants, but we came away unimpressed. I was told that you don’t get a menu at Osito until you’re leaving. How droll! I guess that leads to a lot of “I ate what for an appetizer?”

Since we only got to spend one evening with the Wigs, it just left us craving more. Therefore, we accepted their invite to St. John’s next month.  We’ll be joining them along with Wig’s older brother and his wife. I am expected to provide a running social commentary, which will likely lead to no further invites. We’ll also drop in on my in-laws in West Palm Beach for several days. I especially look forward to the plane ride.

Our 30-year-old freezer finally croaked, so I became the chicken man, but not the one blown up in Philly in Springsteen’s Atlantic City. The wife had just made a Costco run so we had a ton of goods to distribute.  I cooked about 10 chicken breasts for our lunches, and we ate some of the seafood for dinner, but we gave away about $400 dollars worth of chicken. I was just glad that it did not go to waste. My wife was Johnny on the spot and got us a good deal on a new Costco freezer that has already been delivered.

I won some dough in my regular season NFL pool, but it looks like I’m sunk as far as the playoffs.  We had #2 over for enchiladas for the Niners/Packers game. Our team did not look dominant, but they got it done.  They’ll most likely have to face the Ravens again, if they get past the Lions. Ouch!

I went up to the city last week to see one of my pals from the old days.  We worked together at a place I’ve referred to as The Edge a few times in this blog.  It’s a treatment center for emotionally disturbed kids where I met my wife. My pal lives in VT but both his kids live in SF, so he and his wife are out a lot. We had an extensive chat about the old days, recalling many of the kids we worked with, who are now well into their forties. We have a lot in common. We’re tall, good-looking, graybeard empty nesters that write fantastic holiday letters and formerly had excellent jump shots. It was a great visit traveling down memory lane. I expect we’ll be seeing more of each other, so I’ll have to work on a blog name for him to add to the roster from my 3/30/13 post.




Friday, January 05, 2024

Isn’t It Old Age?

I’ve been having a bit of badinage with my brother and 4M about some headlines.  Norman Lear passed away recently at 101 and a follow up article listed his cause of death as heart failure. Really?? I guess that makes sense since the thing had been beating non-stop for over a century.

This headline showed up today. I polled the boys to get their take as to the cause of death. 

Bro: Covid

4M: Excited delirium

DJ: Accidental overdose

In other death news, with Hutch gone, only Starsky remains.

On to non-lethal topics

Say it ain’t so, Serena


To clarify, they reconciled briefly.


Lisa will be starring in a remake of The Joker.

I really don’t want to know.

Stunner


I wish them all the happiness in the world for the few years I expect them to remain together.

Thank you.  Thank you very much.