Almost A Cleaning

I almost mainlined some Clorox this morning until I found out that POTUS backtracked on his statement, claiming it was all a joke.  He was apparently using sarcasm on us.  People, is this any way to run a country?  Of course, it isn’t.  This is The Madness of King Don.  Get the hook, invoke the 25th amendment, and let’s move on. However, I am open to getting some UV rays, if not another "very powerful light", such as I’ll be doing at the usual Friday driveway cocktail party on Gull.

I got up at 4am yesterday to drive my bud The Exec down to Santa Clara Kaiser.  He had open heart surgery yesterday and came through like a champ.  I spoke to him last night.  I’m a little insecure so I asked him how many people he called before me.  He said I was the first non-family member, which was good, because it’s all about me.  It was interesting conversation, as he was on drugs and I was on Zinfandel.

It looks like the girl is coming down this weekend to shelter in place with us.  She got the okey dokey from her employer, so I imagine she’ll be here for a few months or until we drive her back to Portland with our geezer lifestyle.  We just got a second toilet installed yesterday so the timing works.  She does not eat meat much anymore but when I suggested a steak dinner for her Sunday, she was all over it.  Maybe I’ll throw in a vegetarian option this week as well.  To be honest, I cannot get enough plant-based protein.

I gotta do the grocery shopping this weekend, so if I can get my hands on five pounds of bacon or so, I think I’ll grab it, but I get the feeling I’m going to be too late.  Maybe I’ll pick up some TP or hand sanitizer instead. I’ll be cooking for three for the foreseeable future, so I need to take that into account.  Hopefully there has not been a run on tofu.

Is it time for an interesting telecom story?  I think so!  I posted this one on my FB recently, stating I was waiting for a call from 1965.  How funny it that? OK, swing and a miss.  We are currently connected to our land line with this baby I bought on eBay, but I think the time is rapidly approaching for us to dump said land line. This is not easy for me to say, as I was born in the 50s and have always had the greatest affinity for plain old telephone service, as we call it in the business.

Desolate Suburbia

We are all in this together, but it is beginning to suck. I’m housebound and down. I’d like to be able to get out to swim, not only for the wonderful exercise, but so I can bring you tales of Aquaman et al.  I will have to settle for walks around the block, which my wife and I engage in daily.  She then heads out for a real walk, covering miles.

We have been doing Zoom sessions aplenty.  The FC women got together last night, and the boys did Saturday night with #1, The Exec, The Hotelier and me.  What a snarky bunch of bastards.  TCG was sporting a beard in his Tahoe lair and I understand that #1 is again locked down in Singapore.  The Exec is living in a van down by the river.  I’ve gone grocery shopping for him a few times.  I want it well documented as I expect recompense one day.  And The Hotelier’s business has been impacted big time.  Needless to say, I miss all their hugs.

We’ve also Zoomed w the kids, most recently on SB1’s 30th birthday.  Saying that confirms my superannuated status.  We touched base with the Wigs.  Fortunately, their youngest got out of NYC early and has been with them down in Richmond for several weeks. Their SB1 is on the front lines in Ann Arbor.  These fake doctors saluted the real ones, like son of Wig and wife.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/B-srqxSn3nl/

My wife and I have not been at each other’s throats too much.  We are working on our relationship and practicing self-care. We had a little project this week.  We put together a small dresser which is destined to become a family heirloom. I borrowed a cordless drill from Unc to complete the task.  I need to invest in one of those. You cannot tell from the below picture, but this fine piece of furniture has many features, such as ill-fitting drawers.  I hope the kids don’t get into a fight over who claims it when we shuffle off this mortal coil.

Fortunately, the construction has been going apace, but the single bathroom situation is getting old.  Also, we’re worried about if we’ll be able to get an inspection done. I may have to ask Jared Kushner to step in.

Let’s check in on what celebs are doing during this unprecedented period.  On FB I already made fun of the panoply of chuckleheads doing their version of Imagine and Rita Wilson doing some rapping, but that is the tip of the iceberg.  I think these headlines from just today deserve your attention and I expect them to brighten your day.

Megan Thee Stallion Shared a "Quarantine Selfie" With Minimal Makeup

Jennifer Love Hewitt Just Dyed Her Hair Pink at Home

Katharine McPhee 'Resurrects' Her Sexy 2006 American Idol Dress on 'Day 26 of Quarantine'

Ryan Gosling & Eva Mendes' Quarantine Life with Kids Is Surprisingly Relatable (No Nannies!)