This Week in Toned Abs

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/simone-biles-abs-look-literal-141800863.html

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/toni-braxton-53-shows-off-203000922.html

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/kate-hudsons-abs-toned-adorable-202400306.html

It is a little-known fact that the Toned Abs sub-division of Yahoo News was the brainchild of The Exec during his time there.  His fingerprints are on the abs of many a celebrity.  I won’t comment on the ongoing litigation.

The Wig threw me a curveball the other day, mentioning I should use my celeb skills on the Gurzanski / Clooback dust up.  I was dumbfounded, as I had never heard of this pair.  Stephen Clooback, 59, is a Vegas time share billionaire and Stefanie Gurzanski, 26, takes her clothes off professionally, so they are both solid citizens, but it seems their brief love affair has gone off the rails.  Clooback has been harassing her since she took him and his credit card for a ride.  I’m offering thoughts and prayers.

Per the article below, one of the Oath Keepers, who also happens be a heavy metal guitarist, is ratting out some of his compadres. But what I found particularly interesting is that his lawyer referred to him as a “internationally known musician and recording artist”.  I had to do my research but discovered that this was the case, because several regulars in a dive bar in Windsor, Canada remember seeing him play there.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/oath-keeper-jon-ryan-schaffer-becomes-first-capitol-insurrectionist-to-rat-out-fellow-rioters?ref=home

Per my last post, I’ve been knocking it out of the park with my workout routine.  There’s one guy at the posh club that has been giving me some material.  He’s the same cat I referenced in my 12/22/20 post.  He uses a snorkel and tends to grunt a lot.  He was particularly active one day last week, so I said to the lifeguard “I’m going to get out now, so I don’t get eaten by a sea monster”. That got a chuckle.  He was there again today, and I thought I heard a “Woo ha” reminiscent of Pacino in Scent of a Woman.

HuffPo is telling me that lingerie can be a form of self-care, but I consider my Calvin Klein boxer briefs to be nothing but utilitarian. However, my version of self-care is taking a ball in a sock and using it to loosen up the kinks in my back.  I have to contort myself against the wall in various positions, but it’s worth it.  The ball is just the right texture.  I used to do it with a golf ball, but that caused the wallboard to implode, which we addressed during the re-model. 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-lingerie-therapeutic_l_607c844ee4b0eac4813ef62c

I'll close with CONGRATS to my high school buddy TK, aka Gampy, who welcomed his second grandchild this week.

Clean Up Time

#1 and I were discussing my blog notes recently, a rich vein of comic genius and a bird’s eye view into the musings of a public intellectual.  I decided to do a thorough review of them to mine a few nuggets to use in this post.  I came up with diddly, so I’m just going to mention that I’m sad about the JLo / ARod break up announcement but am comforted by the fact that Elizabeth Hurley's abs are more toned than ever in her latest bikini pic.

I have a swim time today, as I do most days, but I’m a little concerned about my activity level, so I may need to tone it down some, per the NYT article below.  As I’ve told my personable trainer, my biceps are too damn big. Unc has seen him a few times so I’m going to visit Unc tomorrow to stretch out that lanky SOB.  It’s the type of thing I do for friends. By the way, he and I will be meeting up with The Wolv this October down in NOLA.  We’re going to extend that trip to Muscle Shoals and a few other TBD locations. I’ll jet from there up to my hometown for the wedding of The Banker’s son.  My kids will be there, so I’ll be able to show them all the hot spots, including the legendary hoops court where I developed my skilz. I was able to slam dunk on that basket on the left, as it was about six inches short back in the 70s.  I’d like to point out that I have slam dunked on a regulation basket a few times, but only on an indoor court when I was well warmed up and managed to get a better than average spring in my step.  I did it once in college during pre-game drills with my intramural basketball team, The Cincinnati Kids.  A teammate said, “I didn’t know you could do that”.  I said, “Neither did I”.

tinyurl.com/9jsd2xsb

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/24/well/move/exercise-hiit.html?action=click&module=At%20Home&pgtype=Homepage

Did I ever mention that my wife is bilingual?  The issue is that I am the only one that understands her second language.  She added to the grocery list this morning.  She wrote “cusco” but I knew she wanted quinoa. I was only hoping she did not want me to go to Cuzco to get it.  She also needed some “crips” apples. My thought was that perhaps The Crips were going into legitimate business, i.e. produce, in their quest for dominance over The Bloods, but then realized she wanted crisp apples for a dessert she was making.

Hello April

It is SB1’s 31st birthday today.  I sent him salutations on FB but I was reluctant to tell him that 31 was the age that I knew I was morphing into the full-fledged geezer I am today.  

Back when SB1 was a tyke, 4M and his wife were babysitting him.  He ended up dropping one on the carpet and when 4M went to clean it up, he implored “don’t touch my poop”.  Now his old man is saying “don’t test my poop”.

https://www.sfgate.com/news/editorspicks/article/ubiome-richman-apte-sec-filing-charges-fraud-16042042.php

On the topic of birthdays, Jesse J just turned 33 and shared a naked pic to celebrate.  By the way, my birthday is coming up next month, so watch this space.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/jessie-j-just-shared-naked-141900459.html

You cannot get any slimier than Matt Gaetz, but the guy should have had more sense that to pay hookers with Cash App and Apple Pay.  It looks like that Newsmax gig will not be happening and I’m sure Liz Cheney is disappointed they will not be colleagues much longer.  Fortunately for Matt, Gym Jordan has his back.

I had a tooth extracted yesterday, so I’m taking it easy at home. I have a couple friends out front keeping me company.