Are We Human Or Are We Blogger?

If’s it all the same to The Killers upon their induction to the Stupid Lyrics HOF, why can’t I be both.

Was that a good way to start out a blog post?  I’m not sure because it is Friday morning around 8 and I have not had my breakfast yet.  I did not get to the pool this morning, so perhaps I’ll head over after I drop this on the DJ’s Detritus dung pile.

Do you people pay attention to the news?  It’s difficult, isn’t it.  Listening to a portion of Trump’s philippic on Fox and Friends yesterday is as painful as it gets, but on the bright side, some of his declarations were already used in legal filings. There were a couple witty headlines, such as “Old Man Yells at Country” and "Donald From DC Calls in to Fox and Friends". And that is just one day.  Last week he said he might pardon Jack Johnson after talking to Stallone.  Word on the street is that he is also considering pardoning Stallone for making Tango and Cash.

In other related news, Ronny “Candyman” Jackson is out as VA nominee.  Ronny, we hardly knew ye. And Mick Mulvaney explained to us how he deals with lobbyists.  The talking heads on MSNBC say he may have incriminated himself with his recent statements.  And Scotty Boy Pruitt headed to the hill for a grilling. He surprisingly did not take responsibility for any of his actions. Venality is a core competency in the Trump Admin.  Only the best people! 

Last week I was stopped at the crosswalk at Audubon School down the road from my abode when a white BMW lost control, jumped the curb and took out a fire hydrant.  It came to rest in the driveway, as the gusher came down upon it.  Thank God they missed the crossing guard and a student on either side by about five feet.  Maybe the dude needs to get a hand brake like me.

I was on the horn with The Wig recently.  He calls me occasionally because he finds my voice soothing.  He mentioned we should go see Van Morrison at the Masonic this summer when he takes up residence in Marin.  The cheapest tickets I could find were $130.  Since Van the Man has already disappointed me the three times I have seen him in concert, I will be looking for alternative acts we can see.  As I told 4M the last time we saw Van, which was about 25 years ago, he seemed a tad contemptuous. By the way, that crack about The Wig making candles was just that.  However, he is considering working on a line of vegan TV dinners.

I’d like to call out that I had a negative customer experience at Peets this Wednesday.  I had to wait about 10 minutes to get my mud.  Part of that was due to two dudes in front of me ordering beans. The other part was the employees lingering in the back room.  They finally came out when the line reached about 10 people. I’ve stopped getting my beans there and now get their ground stuff from Safeway.  My wife prefers freshly ground, but I don’t care what she prefers in this particular instance. 

I want to thank my friend The Exec, a true thought leader, for motivating me to write this post.  I think of myself as a thought leader as well.  However, many of my thoughts have often led me into trouble.

OK, it is time for me to give my heart and soul to my corporate entity for the next hour or so, after which I think I’ll take a dip.  Ciao.

Your Sunday Hogwash

I was looking through my old blog notes for some ideas to share with you today.  I’ll give you a minute to get over your surprise that I actually put some effort into this shit.

I saw on FB yesterday a post asking what term people use often that you can’t stand.  My bud Double R put “at the end of the day”, which I agree with wholeheartedly.  I commented on it in my 11/28/09 blog.

Which brings me to my notes, in which I wrote that I am also bothered by the term “space”.  I had to do some research on the webs but came up with a good corporate jargon site which defined it as “A really douchey way to refer to a market or industry.” So, I’m in the telecom space but I was thinking it would be cool to work for NASA, because then I could be in the space space.

You may also be asking “why are you putting a post up so soon after your last one, you lazy SOB.”  I’m occupying myself to stave off desperation.  My wife has been gone for 29 hours and she’s not coming back until tomorrow.  The Exec and I are getting together tonight at Ben Tre to console each other.  I’m going to suggest we trash both our houses afterwards.  That’ll teach them.

The Wig is coming out to spend the summer in West Marin. I’ll have to introduce him to some of my FC buds.  We’re looking forward to heading up there to spend a few weekends with them.  I told him I’d make my osso buco.  People are incapable of turning that down.  It will be fun to have him so close by, but I’m concerned that by the end of summer he will have grown out his goatee and started making candles.

Blockchain

I don’t know what the hell it is either.

There have been a few celebrity splits lately, but I don’t want to focus on the negative.  I am cheered by the fact that the “hot felon” is having a baby.

SB1 had a birthday yesterday so I slipped him a few bucks, so he could take his girlfriend out for a nice dinner.  This continues a proud family tradition.  My dad would always give me a call on my birthday to let me know he was spending part of my inheritance on a chic dinner for himself and my mom to celebrate my birth.

My wife is going up to Portland this weekend to visit the girl.  I was originally slated for that trip until Mrs. Exec expressed some interest, which got me bumped. My wife gets away with a lot of shit, but she brings in a decent paycheck and has a pension, so I gotta choose my battles.  I invited some of the boys over for dinner but no takers so far. TCG told me he is heading down to San Diego for Greek Easter, or Greaster as I call it.

I asked The UK his thoughts on my blog.  He says it is OK but needs to be more edgy.  I think saying my wife gets away with a lot of shit and coining terms like Greaster is about as edgy as I’m going to get.  But the UK is a generous guy and he acknowledges that I had great hair in high school, so I got no beef.

#1 and family recently took a trip to Phuket, Thailand.  They were doing some scout work for Asiapalooza ’18, our FC fun bunch trip coming up this summer.  You can read their blog at:

http://oursingfling.blogspot.sg/

It’ll probably be good to get out of the country for a couple weeks.  Do you ever read the news in the morning, shake your head, and wonder what the hell went wrong, as the U.S. executive branch transmogrifies into an absurdist drama?  Today the orange one is badmouthing CNN and their chief as well as talking about having the military guard the Mexican border.  This petty dope is your president.

But Trump does have his fans.  Thought leader Tomi Lahren is one of them.  She showed her support for the lunatic fringe that is the NRA by posting the below picture recently.  Her workout consists of the following yoga poses:

Cat and camel

Downward dog

Shoot your parts