PSA

Always! Always secure your penguin.

#1 took me for a walk yesterday.  He forgot the leash, but I was well-behaved.  He also forgot his 3 iron, aka The Goose Mitigator.

I’m a little late on this one, but someone thought it was a good idea to send some rich women into space for 11 minutes.  Olivia Munn called it “gluttonous”.  I’ve always liked Olivia Munn. Emily Ratajkowski panned it as well. According to experts, there was a possibility that some of the fillers on Dracula’s bride Lauren Sanchez shifted around. 

Kristi Noem got her purse snatched recently. She had $3k in cash, which she needed because she had a lead on a sweet 1989 Ford Taurus she plans to enter in the newly instituted annual TSA Demolition Derby.

This is a golden opportunity.  I plan to head up a consortium to start negotiations.

In celeb news, mistakes were made.

Peter, Peter, bullshit tweeter.

I’m on my way to Starbucks for an Iced Lavender Cream Oatmilk Matcha, so I’ll close with some good news.