Your May Police Log

16:14 Soliciting w/o a Permit 140515066

Occurred on Bramble Ct, Fcy. RP reports a male, 25-30 Y.O., is going door to door asking about resident's religion. Subjects contacted are evangelizing and not selling any products. No violation occurred. Disposition: Unfounded.

Quite frankly, I'd rather have you try to sell me something. It was later determined Joel Osteen was in town, sharing his prosperity gospel.

22:02 City Ordinance Violation 140515113

Occurred at E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Noise complaint: subjects using loud machinery to clean carpets.

Contact/compliance. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

This is exactly why I went with hardwood.

23:01 Barking Dog 140515122

Occurred on Pitcairn Dr, Fcy. Dog barking non-stop in backyard. QOA. Contact made with resident by phone who stated raccoons are in her backyard and when she lets her dog outside to relieve herself, she barks. Dog is inside and resident stated she will try to get the raccoons to stop coming in her backyard. . Disposition: Completed.

Give it up lady. I've tried reasoning with racoons, threatening them, everything. Nothing works.

06:43 Welfare Check 140514012

Occurred on Bounty Dr, Fcy. RP rpts a subj running around the complex barefoot who appears to be in distress. Contact made with the subj's mother at listed location; subj was inside and checked fine. . Disposition: Checks Ok.

Barefoot In Distress, the sequel to Barefoot In The Park, is shooting in town.

11:47 Civil Case 140514043

Occurred on Aruba Ln, Fcy. RP at the front counter rpts jewelry and coins taken by her sister. Civil matter; advice rendered. . Disposition: Completed.

My brother used to take my coins all the time but I never ratted him out.

10:42 Vandalism 594 PC 140513029

Occurred at E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. RP reports for the 2nd time in a week (1st was unreported) unknown(s) cut the pad lock and chain to gain access to the lagoon side of the business in order to drop fishing traps into the water. Fish and Game also contacted and advised. . Disposition: Report Taken.

I think fishing in the lagoon will eventually provide its own punishment.

14:28 Citizen Assist 140513046

Occurred on East Court Ln, Fcy. RP requesting an area check for his 6 month old Pitbull "Shasha " (Blue nose, gray coat , approx 30lbs) who got out of his yard sometime in the last 20 - 30 minutes. Nearby gardeners possibly saw the dog following a tall WMA. RP called back prior to officer arrival, dog found. . Disposition: Cancelled While Enroute.

A blue nosed pitbull roaming around town does not give me a sense of comfort.

16:22 Citizen Assist 140509068

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Counseling for a child requested by parent at the front counter. . Disposition: Service Provided.

Let's go down to the station to see if the cops can figure out what the hell's wrong with you.

02:18 Disturbance 415 PC 140510011

Occurred on Port Royal Av, Fcy. RP rents a room upstairs and states the homeowner's and their friends are partying downstairs and she can't sleep. RP would like PD to mediate situation. Friends left and situation mediated btwn RP and homeowner. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

The wife and I party often with friends so we don't rent out our spare bedrooms.

09:34 Disturbance 415 PC 140510019

Occurred at Rock Harbor/Sea Cloud. RP rpts 2 army type helicoptors from Oracle transporting a boat 50 ft in the air; concerned boat will fall off and destroy homes in the area. Area checks clear; sky crane landed in Redwood Shores without incident. . Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

Larry does what Larry wants.

16:27 Citizen Assist 140510041

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Real Estate agent at the front counter requesting to speak to the WC regarding real estate signs that were picked up. Signs returned. . Disposition: Service Provided.

16:36 Citizen Assist 140510042

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Subj at front counter requesting his real estate signs be returned after seeing a previous subj get his signs back. Signs returned. . Disposition: Completed

16:59 Citizen Assist 140510043

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Real estate sign returned at the front counter. Disposition: Completed.

10:05 Suspicious Person 140430031

Was it Mess With Your Local Realtor Day?

09:10 Disturbance 415 PC 140430029

Occurred at Foster City Bl. , Fcy. RP rpts an unauothorized subj is trying to change the lock at her business. Both parties contacted and an attorney reponded with paperwork showing an eviction effective today's date at 2359hrs. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

This is no longer your place of business. Were you expecting a different result, you dope.

Occurred on Beach Park Bl, Fcy. RP rpts an AMA, crouched down in the bushes taking photos with a camera on a tripod. Contact made; subj determined to be taking nature photos (photos were viewed for confirmation). . Disposition: Checks Ok.

For my upcoming coffee table book, Flora and Fauna of Foster City

18:46 Trespassing 602 PC 140429072

Occurred at Sea Spray Ln. , Fcy. Report of teenagers, who jumped the fence and are swimming in the pool with their scooters. Contact made with subjects who were admonished. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

That can't be good for the scooters.

12:24 Disturbance 415 PC 140426034

Occurred at E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. RP reports that a WMA, 50's, 6'2", 250 LB (overweight) is yelling at him and his wife due to a near collision in the parking lot. Subject was last seen walking towards the pharmacy while Officers were enroute. All involved parties contacted and verbal altercation was mediated. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

This is to distinguish this perp from the one who is 6'2", 250 LB (totally buffed).

18:18 Disturbance 415 PC 140426056

Occurred on Pilgrim Dr, Fcy. 13 yro male yelling obesities ifo RP's house. Contact made with juvenile playing basketball. Parent arrived to pickup son while Officer admonishing and was advised of behavior. RP advised. . Disposition: Completed.

Cut the kid some slack. His shot wasn't dropping today.

01:37 Citizen Assist 140421005

Officer initiated activity at Mcdonald's Restaurant, Triton Dr, Foster City. Disposition: Service Provided.

One Egg McMuffin please