NO CATERWAULING??

I haven’t put up a post for over a month and I’ve gotten zero complaints, not even from #1, although he’s been in Turkey along with my wife for the last three weeks.  I picked them up at SFO Monday.

I was beginning to worry that my blog was not among the most popular in the world, but then I found out it was one of Donald Trump’s favorites, so I felt a deep sense of validation.  My problem now is how I’m going to describe the non-events of the last month of my life.  Should I go most recent backward, or vice versa?  Stream of semi-consciousness? I know! I’ll do the weave. If it’s good enough for my favorite orator, it’s good enough for me.

So, the Turkey travelers are back. I waited at international arrivals for about half an hour while the luggage came in, but that is the least I can do for wifey, #1 and Barbie. I’m not sure what #2, TCG and Katie did for transportation, but I’m not operating a bus service. Of course, dinner was ready for the little lady when she arrived home.

I knocked it out of the park this past weekend in the NFL pool.  14 games, 14 correct picks.  And then I got an email that five other folks did the same thing, which made me feel less special.  I hate feeling less special.  I am tied for second place, so I plan to bring home the dough.  Here’s this week’s picks so you can call your bookie and then I’ll move on to another topic.  Weave, baby, weave.

NO Jax Atl Buf Cin GB Ind Det Phi LAR Was KC Pit Bal LAC

I have a bunch of folks to thank for helping me out while my wife abandoned me. My sister was out here for my niece’s 9/21 wedding, so she extended her stay to keep an eye on me.  We all had a wonderful time at the blessed event.  We stayed at the Hotel Petaluma and were ferried off to a remote wedding venue. My niece is a chef so you can imagine how good the chow was.  We were blessed with beautiful weather for the touching outdoor ceremony.

My sister’s stay on Gull was uneventful, which is the way you like it when you are recovering from a laminotomy.  She had use of my wife’s car, so she caught up with several East Bay friends. We went out for dinner one night but stuck close to home for the most part.  Her wife gifted me some great Zin she had picked up after the wedding, so we sampled a bit of that.

The Hoteliers took me out for lunch at Sweet Basil this past weekend.  They also carted over some Thai food a few days after my surgery, so props to those two.  I’ve decided to forgive them for moving out of Foster City.

Unc and Mashie brought over dinner a couple times.  They were in touch making sure I was doing OK after my sister left.  Unc also came down from his Belmont perch a couple mornings to take me out for a walk.  No leash was required.

My baby girl flew down the first weekend in October to keep watch on the old man.  She did some laundry for me but didn’t have to work too hard otherwise. We had dinner at Tokie’s Friday night and Sweet Basil takeout for Saturday.  We visited Fieldworks on Saturday afternoon, as only craft beer will do.  There were a lot of kids running around, even on the bocce courts clearly marked “no kids”. It was a hipster haven but this geezer with a cane did his best to fit in.  The beard helped.  There was one crew that stood out.  I believe the young lady was going for a goth look but I couldn’t figure out what one dude had in mind.  He had long red hair and a beard to match.  He also had a moustache, but it did not touch the beard.  He had on a sleeveless pink shirt, but his worse offense was that he was calling the IPAs “eye pahs”. I guess that cat hasn’t been out of the house for a decade or so, which explains his hairdo, couture and pronunciation.

I’d like to also give a shout out to my old high school friend JB. We’ve traded a few hundred emails over the past weeks that kept me entertained.  Our 50th high school reunion occurred at the beginning of October.  Neither of us made it but we did get to see a ton of pictures that were posted, which informed our conversation. I can assure you that nothing snarky was said by either of us.

You Deserve a Post Today

Today marks two weeks since my surgery. I have not had much desire to write, but then I realized that my readership has been having a tough time too, not having access to my bon mots for over two weeks.

I’m doing pretty well.  The wife trots me out every morning for my ten-minute walk up the block and back. We ran into the Banker doing his constitutional earlier this week.  He moves better than I do.  In the afternoon I do my walk inside, which is quite exciting. I pop Advil a couple times a day, which is all that is required.  Arising from a chair is a lot easier than it was and I even went out for dinner last night for the first time.  I employed the cane for that. OK, that’s my medical report.

How about you guys?  Are your pets safe?

Wow, that was quite a debate Tuesday. Kamala baited the hook and Donnie Darko jumped at it.  I would have total contempt for the guy if he wasn’t a leader in fertilization.  Even a lot of Republicans, like Frank Luntz, said he shit the bed. Hopefully he will be out of public life and in the slam in 2025. I can dream.

To my chagrin, I missed the VMAs last night.  You can catch all the looks below.  Some people, like Addison Rae, were wearing their underwear. Remind me why she’s famous again. I’m clearly getting old because several of these people I’ve never heard of.  My celeb knowledge has its limits. Lil Nas X stopped by on his way to join Elon for the next SpaceX launch.  My main disappointment was that JLo did not show up in her revenge dress.

https://www.vogue.com/slideshow/mtv-vmas-2024-red-carpet

OK people, the new NFL season is upon us.  I went 14 for 16 last week, which put me in a seven-way tie for 2nd place. I plan to move into first this week with these sterling picks.

Buf Bal LAC Dal Det Ind Jax SF Sea NYJ Was LAR Pit KC Hou Phi

DJ on Substack?

I've been talking to SB1 and #1 about the possibility of migrating my blog to Substack.  It is apparently easy enough that even I could do it.  This would let me widen my audience, allowing people to join up via email. Conversely, it could allow people to treat it like the spam that it is.

We had a good time in NJ.  I managed to keep my pants up the rest of the trip.  Sonny Boy wheeled me around the beach on one of these. Mine even had an umbrella.

We also had a regular wheelchair.  The six older adults went out for dinner one night.  Afterward, my brother-in-law dumped me on the sidewalk when he was rolling me home. I’ve never quite understood the ill feelings he has harbored for me all these years.  I treat his sister like a queen.

The DNC was lit.  It is interesting the enthusiasm that can be generated when there are two decent human beings on the ticket. I just wish Kamala was as good looking as Trump. We’ve taped the whole thing.  I’ll have to fast forward to the part where Beyonce shows up. I have not watched much but have done a little reading, especially Charles P. Pierce in Esquire.  I sometimes send his stuff to Unc and the Wolv.  That’s probably a violation of some law, but I like to live on the edge.

https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a61956817/kamala-harris-dnc-acceptance-speech/?source=nl&utm_source=nl_esq&utm_medium=email&date=082324&utm_campaign=nl36507739&GID=a299db311496f415a2e5ca233c02f2a5e378f94bdef396e576bc2d0f6c84dcbd&OO=&utm_term=TEST-%20NEW%20TEST%20-%20Sending%20List%20-%20AM%20180D%20Clicks%2C%20NON%20AM%2090D%20Opens%2C%20Both%20Subbed%20Last%2030D

Fox News had a different take. Hannity said the DNC’s theme was hatred and loathing. I really didn’t get that vibe on the parts I saw.  They may find Trump hateful and loathsome, but that would just make them objective.  Jesse Waters referred to the convention as boring.  I have the same take on Jesse as the Slate writer who titled his May article "The Resting Smirk of the Bulletproof Moron". Ultimately Fox had to cut off a ranting Trump on the final night of the DNC. “He’s still talking”.

I think one could say it’s been tough on all of us.

My surgery is coming up Thursday so there may be a blog void for a bit.  Or I might live blog my recovery. I’ll send a status update out via email asap afterward, possibly in an opiate induced haze. 

You From Jersey?

We flew into DC Thursday, so I got to check out SB1 and LGMG’s beautiful abode, which was a couple blocks from our VRBO. We chowed down on several pizzas that evening before heading back our basement digs, where I had to dodge the low ceiling in the living room area.  SB1’s house has the same layout.  I managed to get 11 or 12 hours of sleep that night, so I was ready for our only full DC day.  The yutes were working so the wife and I drove to Silver Springs for brunch. The normal breakfast selections were unavailable, so I put together bacon, potatoes and eggs from side dishes, which all arrived on small plates at different times, but was serviceable.

That evening brought us to a neighborhood Basque place called Atxondo.  The girls had gotten in from Portland a few hours earlier and #1’s SB1 and daughter-in-law joined us. His SB1 offered me a handshake and I decided to give him a hug, so I’ve clearly gone over to the softie side. #1’s SB1 also brought up my Air Supply parody of “I’m all out of hugs. I don’t want to touch you”. That kid has a good memory. We also had a discussion about blog names for those two, but since I’ve barely been able to name my two daughter-in-laws, that may take some time.

We shared two seafood paellas and multiple tapas, along with cocktails and a couple very reasonably priced ($36) bottles of wine. With eight of us, I was surprised that they did not tack on a service charge, but that saved me some dough when I stiffed them on the tip. #1 has not responded to my SquareCash request for payment for his youngsters.

We hit the road yesterday afternoon for the drive to Stone Harbor, NJ.  SB1 had a steady hand on the wheel, dealing with lots of traffic, rain and some NJ back roads. The highlight of that drive was the stop at the Joseph Robinette Biden rest stop in Delaware. The kids decided to go with healthy choices of Popeye’s Chicken and Panda Express, while the wife and I had generic turkey sandwiches. We got in about 8:30 and my brother-in-law poured us some drinks.  The rest of his family will be arriving over the next few days.

I said in my last blog that I might be getting one out from the road.  I had not planned to do that quite as quickly but an interesting event transpired this morning which I thought I’d share. We had a good breakfast with my wife, SB1 and my brother-in-law. The girl and AG decided to get something to go so they could watch the Olympics women’s soccer championship game. After breakfast we were walking to the car. When crossing the main square at 96th St. and 3rd Ave, I made it about 10 feet into the crosswalk when my shorts fell down. I stated “old man alert” among the giggles and snickers and several hands trying to help me. I made it back to the curb to sort myself out before awaiting the next walk signal. I will not be posting a re-creation picture like I did on my 9/22/23 blog.

LAMI WHAT?

I was going to send an update via email, but I decided to text folks instead about my upcoming laminotomy on August 29 as it was quicker and shorter. Therefore, most of my readers already have the scoop. The link below will give you all the deets, although it does not refer to it as a spinal canal roto-rooter like I do. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laminotomy

I’m looking forward to the procedure.  I’m hoping it allows me to ditch the cane and get back to swimming and other normal activities of a pot-bellied senior citizen with a slight limp. 

I’m flying to DC tomorrow.  I’ll get to see SB1 and LGMG’s house for the first time, as well as the knockoff Maltese Falcon I bought them as a housewarming gift. I think I am also committed to buying dinner for #1’s kid and his wife. At least that is what #1 tells me. After spending a few days there having SB1 wait on me hand and foot, we are off to Stone Harbor, NJ for a beach week with the in-laws and family along with my sister and LA. I’m looking forward to the ocean, although bodysurfing is probably not on my docket.

There’s been some activity in the political arena since my last post. The day after that dropped, Biden pulled out and endorsed Kamala Harris. Today she picked Tim Walz as her VP, who sagely started referring to GOPers as weird. The Dems have stopped shooting themselves in the foot, as Trump did in his NABJ interview. I’m not making any predictions but I’m feeling pretty good right now.

I saw the news that Aerosmith is retiring from touring due to Steven Tyler’s vocal injury.  Some headlines referred to it as “heartbreaking”. I’m not sure about that, but inevitable might be more apt, given the guy has been screeching for over 50 years.

Football season is almost upon us.  I sent in my $75 check for the pool I originally joined about ten years ago with a bunch of ATT folks. If you’d like to catch a hilarious take on each team, you can read the Why Your Team Sucks series on Defector. It is worth the $8 subscription for one month.

https://defector.com/

I may get out another post from the road, like I did from Italy, but I’m going to make sure that my pants are appropriately secured. I don’t want to disconcert anybody. And I hope everyone is having a brat summer.

I Have Been Remiss

On my last post I came up with a blog name for my new daughter-in-law.  It then dawned on me that I’ve never come up with one for my daughter-in-law of almost two years.  What kind of blogger, nay, what kind of father-in-law am I?  I mulled over a few ideas and then reviewed them with her.  I think this is the first time I’ve done that.  What we have come up with is LGMG (local girl makes good).

On the health front, I had my shot, aka a bilateral transforaminal epidural steroid injection, on July 9. The doc said it would take two weeks to have full effect. They were going to give me something to sedate me before the procedure, but I eschewed it, due to the fact that I’m a stoic, manly man. Plus, I was already rickety enough. The shot has allowed me to go off the Advil but I still have leg weakness etc., so I’m seeing the neurosurgeon on August 2. Getting old is not for lightweights.  My buddy Wig is getting his hip replaced this week and my driveway cocktail neighbor - hey, I should come up with a blog name for her – had her knee replaced last week. 

Speaking of The Wig, he re-sent this picture that he took ten years ago. He should understand that my feelings are still a little raw on this one.  I was going to send him a massive floral display after his procedure, but I may need to re-think that.

So, was everyone glued to their TV for the RNC like I was? Wankfest 2024 concluded with a 90 minute ramble by The Orange Duce. He tried to display the kinder, gentler Trump but he can only talk so long before spewing vitriol. Many idiots wore ear bandages, but heck, that’s not cult-like behavior, is it?

Those of us to the left of Vlad the Impaler have our own problems. The Dems should have figured out a solution several years ago so we wouldn’t be in our current situation. I’m hoping that most people will feel like one pundit I read, who said “I’d vote for a skeleton before I’d vote for Trump”. The DNC may need to be an open convention, but just don’t float Bob Menendez’s name.

OK, it’s time to get to the lighter side of blogging. My wife and I concluded a mini vacation yesterday. We squatted at the apartment of one of her work friends on 29th St. We caught the Wednesday matinee of Mrs. Doubtfire along with #1 and Barbie. A husband-and-wife team were the leads, and we enjoyed all the dancing and singing, including some very talented kids. From there we went for cocktails at Sprezzatura. I went with the bargain basement Negroni Classico for $19. The place is pretty classy, so they wouldn’t let us stay for dinner.  We then took a driverless Waymo to the Michelin-starred Octavia.  We all decided to go with the chef’s menu and were delighted with it. We paired that with the reasonably-priced Domaine Benastra Petite Soeur, which we enjoyed so much we got a couple more.

The next day was lower key, partly because I had walked quite a bit, relatively, on Wednesday and needed some rest. We had lunch at Henry’s Hunan on Church. I was hankering for Kung Pao something, but we had to keep the heat toned down for my wife, so we had onion cakes, cold noodle salad and garlic chicken. Whatever you order, it is always good at Henry’s.

We did dinner at Uma Casa, an eight-year-old Portuguese restaurant on Church. We had a little wait trying to get the right bottle of wine, but it was worth it. We had a nice chat with the owner’s wife when she brought it.  She said summer is their slow season, when a lot of customers go to the Azores. Many customers of Portuguese descent come in from the East Bay. Uma Casa offers a prix fixe 3 course meal for $54, which is a hell of a deal.  My wife and I negotiated which dishes to order, since we would share them. The portions were generous, and we had food to take home, which provided the bulk of my lunch and dinner yesterday. My wife is going to recommend this place to her friend and I’m recommending it to you.

Would you like a celebrity update? I’m glad to oblige.  I have to admit I was unhappy to read this headline.

My thought is he should work on a sequel to Waterworld or The Postman instead. And there was an article about somebody trying to match up Costner and Hota Kotb. Hold the phone! I don’t see that one happening.

And then there’s this.

I really don’t know too many women in their late sixties that want to be pregnant again. Maybe start a charity instead Kris.

I’ll close with a request. Please! Please! I’d like to hear nothing further about the Hawk Tuah girl.

American Girls

My daughter is a married woman.  We came back Monday from our Portland jaunt to celebrate her wedding.  In my speech I joked about a time when she wanted me to buy her an American Girl doll.  When we were prepping for the speech, my wife wisely said I needed to tie that back to the event.  I added “and now she has one of the best American girls ever as her wife”. I meant every word of it.  And I finally have a blog name for my new daughter-in-law. She’ll be known as AG going forward.

The celebration went swimmingly, despite the fact that both my wife and I were physical wrecks.  I’m hobbling around with a cane due to my spinal stenosis and wifey tested positive for COVID upon her arrival in Portland. I was supposed to get an epidural the week before but my rehab doctor saw “abnormalities” on my MRIs.  Fortunately, two neurosurgeons confirmed that they were from my 1999 surgery. My spinal cord looks like five miles of bad road, although they put it in more technical terms. In any case, I will get my shot next week as my wife awaits her COVID rebound.

We kicked things off Thursday night with rooftop beers at Migration Brewery and then dinner at Kell’s Irish Pub.  The joint was empty when we walked in, so I was a little concerned about the fare they’d be serving up, but all enjoyed their dinner.  Sadly, my wife was isolating back at the hotel room this evening, sipping Rombauer on the patio with my sister and LA.  I was able to attend as my sturdy son pushed me through the streets of Portland in a wheelchair we had rented. Our busy evening also allowed me to miss the debate.

Friday brought a family dinner at Serratto.  We had a room to ourselves, and we had quite the time, as the chow and company were stellar. My better half was not there to celebrate with me, but we met up with the masked marvel shortly after at the welcome party held at the Multnomah Athletic Club. The MAC puts my posh club to shame. Fortunately, there was an outside deck where my wife could show her face and the weather cooperated.  We had an excellent turnout of friends and family.

On Saturday morning Sonny Boy had a glimpse of his future life as he came to my hotel room to help me get in the shower.  He didn’t have to scrub me, but I did need help getting my leg over the tub wall. He stuck around to give me a hand dressing, mainly getting that dang shirt neck buttoned. The fathers and sons wore blue tuxes we rented at Men’s Wearhouse.  I must say we all looked dapper.

SB and I arrived at the venue about 1:30 for the 4pm ceremony. We had pictures taken but there was also a lot of sitting around. We grabbed a bite to eat after the snaps, then nervously awaited go time. 

It was a bit cloudy as we all lined up for the procession but were assured that there was a zero chance of precipitation. Wobbly and misty DJ along with the Mrs. managed to get the girl to her designated spot. I had a brief scare when I realized I was stepping on her train as I was about to hand her off, but I managed some unlikely fancy footwork.

The ceremony started with the bridesmaids taking their seats and the brothers standing at the ready with the rings.  The ebullient officiant did an fantastic job, and everything came together without a hitch, except for the few rain drops we felt. After their first kiss as a married couple, the brides proceeded back down the aisle to the whoops of the crowd.

We managed to get some pre-arranged village pictures done before the rain started in earnest. All took cover and grabbed a drink, and we got more extended family pictures taken under shelter. After the cocktail hour we repaired upstairs for a family style dinner of salad, beet salad, risotto, chicken and salmon. The girls had been impressed during their food tasting the month before, and rightly so.  The pinot was flowing freely.  I’m a Zin snob but the wine was excellent.  Even 4M said so.

My two nieces and nephew serenaded the crowd at the beginning of dinner with a mash up of Adele’s Feel My Love and Taylor’s Lover.  Those kids are talented as hell and knocked it out of the park.  Or out of the winery, if you’re looking for accuracy.

The maids of honor did a great job with their speeches, touching and sincere. AG’s dad cracked us up with his. Then we were up.  Nobody can bat 1.000.  Actually, I thought my wife did very well although she was saying hers was mechanical.  She did use cue cards, but the emotion was real.  Mine was pretty good too although I stumbled a bit. Speaking of stumbling, the girl managed to save our father/daughter dance by holding me up for the duration of it.

I sat most of the rest of the night while a bunch of youngsters and the braver adults jumped around on the dance floor.  It was interesting to see several six-foot-tall young women in five-inch heels putting on their best moves.  They were still rocking when the wife and I left, arriving at the hotel at the unheard-of hour of 11pm.