Happy Holidays Officer

19:58 Parking Violation 131205085

Occurred on Foster City Bl, Foster City. RP states two vehicles have pinned in his vehicle so closely that it is impossible for him to get it out. Contact made with the R/O of one vehicle: vehicle moved. Disposition: Abated/Advised.

I didn't realize parking was at such a premium in FC.

00:36 Suspicious Person 131204001

Occurred on Helm Ln, Foster City. Report of a male subject wandering slowly up and down Wheelhouse Ln. Subject contacted, determined to be a local resident out for a walk, and heading home. Disposition: Abated/Advised.

Can't a geezer go out for a walk without somebody calling the cops?

11:46 Petty Theft 131204040

Occurred on Metro Center Bl, Foster City. RP reports two BM's took alcohol and ran out. One subject located and detained. Determined no alcohol left the store. No further Police action desired by RP. Disposition: Completed.

I misread this one at first. I thought the RP took two BMs.

12:39 Citizen Assist 131204048

Occurred on Santa Cruz Ln, Foster City. Neighbor constantly speeding and is a danger to the neighborhood. RP would like an Officer to speak to neighbor regarding complaint. Both parties contacted and situation medicated/resolved. Disposition: Service Provided.

I'd like to get some of my situations medicated.

10:28 Citizen Assist 131203039

Occurred on E Hillsdale Bl, Foster City. Front counter RP (with caregiver) advising friend (another client) just bit her hand. Situation mediated. Disposition: Service Provided.

Medicate that one. With a tetanus shot.

11:09 Citizen Assist 131203041

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl, Foster City. US Department of Commerce representative at the front counter to advise she will be conducting meetings/surveys in Foster City through May 2014. Disposition: Service Provided.

Penny Pritzker? Ah, you had to look it up too.

14:54 Accident Non-Injury 131203059

Occurred on Metro Center Bl, Foster City. Front counter RP reporting accident that occurred in lot on 11/21/13 at approx. 10am. RP has initially exchanged information with the other driver who has since not called him as agreed. Advice rendered and no report desired. Disposition: Service Provided

Don't be shy RP. Make that call.

17:57 Citizen Assist 131203074

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl, Foster City. Advice request regarding child exchanges. Disposition: Service Provided.

My kids are grown now but there were days when I wanted to trade them in.

09:40 Traffic Hazard 131202025

Occurred on Beach Park Bl, Foster City. Report of balloons in the roadway. Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

The balloons blew away. I would have never thought that.

14:16 Harassing Phone Calls 653M PC 131202045

Occurred on Foster City Bl, Foster City. RP reports receiving numerous phone calls from someone claiming to be from PG&E stating that they are going to shut off the power. Officer attempting contact at the number provided, advice rendered. Disposition: Service Provided.

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

22:19 Citizen Assist 131202092

Occurred on Bounty Dr, Foster City. Assistance requested in verifying a resident who is locked out on their balcony. Disposition: Service Provided.

Bummer, with temperatures in the 30s this week

11:13 Check Fraud 131126038

Occurred on E Hillsdale Bl, Foster City. RP at the front counter would like to speak with an officer regarding possible check fraud. Determined to have occurred in another jurisdiction. Advice rendered. Disposition: Referred To Other Agency.

Advice rendered was "Get the hell out of Dodge."

13:10 Traffic Hazard 131126048

Occurred on Triton Dr, Foster City. Elderly male driving very slowly and pensively with female passenger in parking lot. Contact made. Checks fine. Disposition: Completed.

Was that my buddy The Exec?

16:32 Disturbance 415 PC 131126062

Occurred on Shell Bl, Foster City. Report of a group of older teens in parking lot. RP stated she had to drive around the teens. Contact made with teens gathered in the lot. Lot cleared and teens went on their way. Disposition: Abated/Advised.

You had to drive around them? What a hardship!

18:30 Reckless Driving 23103 VC 131126068

Occurred on Triton Dr/Foster City Bl, Foster City. RP states a female in a Subaru SUV, sped into the driveway almost hitting her vehicle, then parked in handicap hash marks for a few minutes then left again speeding out the driveway. RP was concerned because there was a child in the vehicle. Area checked. UTL. Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

Known in the police biz as an AA. Asshole Alert

23:32 Suspicious Person 131128107

Occurred on Halsey Bl, Foster City. RP reports a "creepy dude", 20's, standing IFO the residence. Subject is a friend of a neighbor and waiting for their ride. Disposition: Checks Ok.

Who the hell you calling creepy, creep.

01:51 Welfare Check 131130011

Occurred on Foster City Bl, Foster City. RP reports that his wife has locked herself in their bedroom and is not responding to him. Both parties contacted, welfare checks fine, wife had accidentally locked the door and fallen asleep. Disposition: Service Provided.

Since it was 2am, did it ever cross your mind that she went to bed?

16:35 Soliciting w/o a Permit 131121067

Occurred on Celestial Ln., Fcy. RP reports a suspicious WFA going door to door soliciting for free carpet cleaning in exchange for canned food approx. 30+ minutes ago. Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

How much carpet can I get done for this can of cling peaches. In heavy syrup no less.

15:07 Citizen Assist 131118049

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Front counter request to speak to Watch Commander regarding parking ticket received. . Disposition: Service Provided.

Going straight to the top eh?

16:36 Disturbance 415 PC 131115047

Occurred at Marlin Cove Apts on Foster City Bl. , Fcy. (Hundred block.) RP reports a group of 20 young adults (WM & HM) had a whip cream fight at the apartment complex's gazebo and now half the group in front of 99 Ranch and the the other half inside the pizza parlor. Juveniles admonished and are cleaning up the mess. Disposition: Abated/Advised.

One of my middle age regrets is never having had a whipped cream fight.

15:20 Disturbance 415 PC 131116032

Occurred on Foster City Bl, Fcy. RP rpts being threatened by a neighbor in the garage. Both parties contacted; determined to be a language issue. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

"You see, in my language, that means Have A Nice Day"

17:23 Suspicious Person 131116036

Occurred on Curlew Ct, Fcy. Asian or dark complected male, dark jacket & blue jeans, hiding in the bushes on the left hand side of the entrance of the court. Resident was trimming his bushes. . Disposition: Checks Ok.

Time to take a chill pill and let your neighbor do his gardening in peace.

23:41 Health & Safety Code Violation 131117068

Occurred on Beach Park Bl, Fcy. Rp reports four subjects in a parked vehicle possibly smoking marijuana. Contact made with subjects who were watching a movie in the vehicle. . Disposition: Checks Ok.

Standard activity at the Beach Park Drive In