Catch a Clue

Earlier this week I was down in the cafeteria at work, toasting up a bagel. The toasters are a little antiquated so it takes some time. As I waited, a pregnant woman walks up to the bagel box and picks up several, one by one, with the tongs, and proceeds to sniff them. Now I understand that pregnancy can cause women to be very sensitive to smells. But c’mon! Grab a couple slices of white bread and call it breakfast.

Is it just me or is there really a preponderance of whiny singers on the radio these days? A few months ago there was a tune that began with a lamentable “I’m not a perfect person”. Far from it pal. Please find another career. Some other clown is asking for permission to “shine with my own light”. I got your light right here and I’m shining it on the door. Don’t let it hit you in the ass on your way out.

Through some research, I’ve determined that snuggies are made out of shamwows stitched together.