Exec Overcompensation

It started out innocently enough. The #1s were over last week for a cocktail. My wife had invited them, over my objections, for a mid-week soiree. As we sat in our living room, #1 noticed something on my sock. It was a mailing label with The Exec’s name on it. I had just sent out our Christmas letter, so I checked in to see if The Exec got it, since I was pretty sure it was a duplicate. He had received it but that set off a chain of events that I’ve come to deeply regret. Soon The Exec was sending noisome emails, in which he accused me of stepping on his good name. This may in part have been fueled by his jealousy for not being invited. I responded by mentioning my opposition to the U.S. corporate pay structure, citing a recent Washington Post article that $1.6 billion of TARP money had already gone to executive compensation. That only fanned the flames. This weekend I received a harrowing voice mail from The Exec, in which he threatened me with bodily harm. I’ve saved the message for an inevitable evidentiary hearing. He signed off by saying “FYI as@#$&e, I just got a $10 million slice of that sweet bailout pie, so piss off”. I’ve already contacted my attorney.