Crime Wave

16:54 Welfare Check 140414083

Occurred at Niantic Dr. , Fcy. Report of children climbing trees in the park. Trees check clear. . Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

When I was a kid, climbing trees was called recreation.

20:51 Suspicious Circumstances 140414101

Occurred on Bounty Dr, Fcy. RP reports he received a phone call stating that he has a warrant for his arrest and they caller is requesting a gift card. No loss and advice rendered via telephone. . Disposition: Service Provided.

I want $40 worth of iTunes or you're going to the slam.

00:45 Pedestrian Stop 140411004

Officer initiated activity at E Hillsdale Bl, Foster City. . Disposition: Warning Given.

I see a lot of these. What's the issue, being a pedestrian?

11:38 911 Hang-up/Welfare Check 140411022

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. 911 hang-up received; contact made and determined to be a pocket dial. . Disposition: Svc Provided-Dispatch.

I guess pocket dial is a polite term for what we call a butt dial.

19:21 Citizen Assist 140411057

Occurred at Foster City Bl. , Fcy. Several subject associated with 5 vehicles loading wood chips/compost into bag. Sign states not to take the wood chips/compost. Contact made with residents who were advised to return tomorrow, on compost give away day. All bags emptied back into the pile. . Disposition: Abated/Advised.

Several of these. Why tempt people with piles of compost on the main drag if they can't have it until tomorrow.

23:30 Reckless Driving 23103 VC 140411092

Occurred at Foster City Bl/Marlin Av, Fcy. Gray Corvette passed RP going SB FCB at 100+ followed by another vehicle, NFD on second. Both vehicles made a u-turn at Marlin/FCB and went back NB on FCB still racing. Last seen 1 minute ago. . Disposition: Gone On Arrival.

I sense exaggeration. How the hell do you get up to 100mph between the traffic lights?

12:50 Citizen Assist 140413043

Occurred at Foster City Police Dept on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. RP reports that her vehicle may have been tampered with and requests an officer to inspect it at its current location. RP changed her mind upon officers' arrival and wished no further police service. . Disposition: Service Provided.

Oh, never mind

12:53 Health & Safety Code Violation 140413044

Officer initiated activity at Ribbon, Foster City. Officer locates subjects with concentrated marijuana in their possession, who later provided a valid prescription. Informational case taken. . Disposition: Report Taken.

I had to look up "concentrated marijuana", aka budder

05:03 Fire Assist 140410018

Occurred on Foresail Ct, Fcy. Assist Fire on a Medical. Disposition: Cancelled While Enroute.

I got better

08:53 Petty Theft 140410029

Occurred on Crane Av, Fcy. RP rpts childrens furniture and toys that she had left out for The Salvation Army was taken. Occurred btwn 040914 2100 and 041014 0800hrs; no rpt desired. Disposition: Svc Provided-Dispatch.

Officer, they stole shit I was trying to get rid of.

16:31 Citizen Assist 140410075

Occurred on Killdeer Ct, Fcy. RP rpts someone has moved the crawl space cover to her residence. Appears that a piece of wood used as a cover was moved by an animal. Cover weighted down and advice rendered. Disposition: Service Provided.

What kind of animal? Did it have opposable thumbs?

19:27 Shoplifting 140410095

Occurred at Safeway Supermarket on E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Manager advised that a heavy set WFA with black & blonde hair wearing a floral shirt had stolen approximately $700.00 worth of vitamins. Suspect left Safeway towards Vintage/MCB driving a red 90's Toyota Corolla, vehicle had hub caps missing. Area check made, UTL suspect/vehicle. Disposition: Report Taken.

A fat lady with a questionable sense of style and a bad hairdo stole a boatload of vitamins. That's the most excitement this town has seen in months.

16:49 Suspicious Circumstances 140409063

Occurred at E Hillsdale Bl. , Fcy. Employee reports an HMA in black shirt, jeans and an HMA in black lace shirt, jeans, took two bottles of vitamins and tried to return them for cash. Area check made. Case taken for suspicious circumstances. . Disposition: Report Taken.

Another vitamin story. I have nothing to say on this one,

17:50 Petty Theft 140408074

Occurred on Shell Bl., Fcy. RP's wallet was taken from his unlocked parked vehicle on 4/5/14 between 1430 hrs and 1530 hrs. Taken was $120 cash and credit cards. Disposition: Report Taken.

A cautionary tale. Don't leave your wallet in an unlocked car, idiot.

14:08 Suspicious Person 140404057

Occurred on Metro Center Bl., Fcy. RP reports a suspicious male and female subject sitting on the sidewalk rolling cigarettes or joints. Subjects contacted, check okay and are nearby employees. Disposition: Completed.

But what were the employees rolling?

11:09 Harassing Phone Calls 653M PC 140405028

Occurred on Zumwalt Ln., Fcy. RP reports receiving numerous harassing phone calls from a window salesman. No report desired; RP to contact his phone company. Disposition: Completed.

Hey, give the guy a break. He's gotta make quota.

15:21 Accident with Injury 140405046

Occurred on Thatcher Ln, Fcy. Informational case taken on adult passenger who accidentally fell out of car being moved from the driveway. Fire/Medics respond for a laceration on the elbow. Disposition: Report Taken.

Winner of Foster City's version of the Darwin Award.

13:47 Vandalism 594 PC 140406034

Occurred on Windjammer Cir, Fcy. RP reports that his vehicle was vandalized with shaving cream and sardines sometime between 2030 HRS on 04/05/2014 and 0930 HRS today. Disposition: Report Taken

Shaving cream I've heard of but the sardines clearly required a certain level of creativity.