Press Time

I see that Pillsbury Doughboy Newt Gingrich is criticizing Obama for shaking hands with Chavez. Dick Cheney chimed in as well on Hannity the Manatee’s show. I surmise that it took Dick a day or so to get around to grousing because he probably blew out a ventricle when he saw the front page pic of Obama and Chavez in the NY Times. What the hell is Obama supposed to do, cold cock the guy? Cheney also wants to release more CIA documents to show the success they had with enhanced interrogation techniques. He’s of the mind that bugs in a box works wonders.

Turning tabloid, there’s been a bit of controversy regarding Madonna’s recent fall from a horse. In a statement released by her publicist, she blamed it on the paparazzi startling the animal. But a photographer disputed her version. I have the scoop however. And you heard it here first. Shortly before Madonna was tossed, the horse was heard to say frantically, “Who the hell did you say mounted me?”