So Sorry
I have to sincerely apologize to my fan base. I realize I have not provided a celebrity update in weeks. I'm hoping the four of you will understand but I do have a valid reason for my lack of productivity. Earlier this month I was the victim of a botched bikini wax. This has had a significant impact on both my physical and emotional well being. To add to all that, I had a paparazzo stalking me. I pleaded with him, to no avail, to respect my privacy during this difficult time.
There's been a lot going on. Heather and Denise still cannot get along. Heather was outside Denise's house the other day blasting a Bon Jovi tune from her car stereo. I know she's angry but think of all of Denise's innocent neighbors. That's just not fair. Nobody should have to listen to Bon Jovi against their will.
Geri Halliwell, of Spice Girl 15 minutes of fame, has named her daughter Bluebell Madonna. They can call her BM for short. I think celebrities get special instruction in how to screw their kids up and they start as soon as possible. I wonder how Penn Jillette's kid Moxie Crimefighter is doing these days. Do they have shrinks for toddlers?
It looks like Nicole Richie and her ex-fiancé have split again. Apparently even though they had gotten back together he was still the ex-fiancé. They didn't want to commit to marriage lest they look a bit indecisive. The only thing they ought to commit to is going to In-N-Out Burger on a daily basis until they both qualify for flyweight status.
Prince is back in the news. The short guy formerly known as a symbol was recently selected as the World's Sexiest Vegetarian. That is one accolade I strive for but, I gotta admit, I like my BLTs. I guess I'll have to settle for Sexiest Blogger Alive. Prince also made a splash on American Idol last night. I’m trying to get a meeting to pitch my new idea to Fox: American Blogger. I think it has a chance to take off. There are almost as many people that think they can write as those that think they can sing. Of course I would rip off the American Idol format. I have two of the three judges already lined up. My charmingly irascible bud 4M would take the Simon Cowell spot. I’ll fill in for Randy Jackson since I say “dawg” a lot. The last slot is a tough one. I haven’t been able to find someone sufficiently stable and impartial to take the Paula Abdul role.
Have a great three day weekend, whether you’re having a BBQ, going to the beach, or taking the kids bike riding with Brad Pitt.
There's been a lot going on. Heather and Denise still cannot get along. Heather was outside Denise's house the other day blasting a Bon Jovi tune from her car stereo. I know she's angry but think of all of Denise's innocent neighbors. That's just not fair. Nobody should have to listen to Bon Jovi against their will.
Geri Halliwell, of Spice Girl 15 minutes of fame, has named her daughter Bluebell Madonna. They can call her BM for short. I think celebrities get special instruction in how to screw their kids up and they start as soon as possible. I wonder how Penn Jillette's kid Moxie Crimefighter is doing these days. Do they have shrinks for toddlers?
It looks like Nicole Richie and her ex-fiancé have split again. Apparently even though they had gotten back together he was still the ex-fiancé. They didn't want to commit to marriage lest they look a bit indecisive. The only thing they ought to commit to is going to In-N-Out Burger on a daily basis until they both qualify for flyweight status.
Prince is back in the news. The short guy formerly known as a symbol was recently selected as the World's Sexiest Vegetarian. That is one accolade I strive for but, I gotta admit, I like my BLTs. I guess I'll have to settle for Sexiest Blogger Alive. Prince also made a splash on American Idol last night. I’m trying to get a meeting to pitch my new idea to Fox: American Blogger. I think it has a chance to take off. There are almost as many people that think they can write as those that think they can sing. Of course I would rip off the American Idol format. I have two of the three judges already lined up. My charmingly irascible bud 4M would take the Simon Cowell spot. I’ll fill in for Randy Jackson since I say “dawg” a lot. The last slot is a tough one. I haven’t been able to find someone sufficiently stable and impartial to take the Paula Abdul role.
Have a great three day weekend, whether you’re having a BBQ, going to the beach, or taking the kids bike riding with Brad Pitt.
posted by DJ @ 9:30 PM
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