Hello Mudda

A Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there. And to some of my male pals as well. I got an email at work Friday, which was sent out to thousands of people. It reminded us that Mother’s Day was coming up and to remember all the mothers in our life. It also said to keep in mind “a male friend who acts in a motherly capacity”. I’m not kidding! I’m a major talent and even I can’t make this shit up.

I know I haven't had much to say lately but I don't think I'm going to let that stop me. I got some flack from #1 and The Wig about my post-party post. One of them, the one who is no longer my friend, termed it "weak". Hell, you try putting together a couple paragraphs every fortnight.

I will provide more details on the party, at least the early stages that I remember. I did get a surprise visit from the Wolverine. He tried to hide behind Unc on his way in but Unc is skinny and The Wolv ain’t. I hope he takes that the right way. Oh, I don’t care how he takes it. I won’t be seeing him for a while. I really do appreciate him coming all the way out here for my celebration though. I’m going to thank him by getting him a John Mayer CD. He’s a big fan, especially of the Hendrix covers.

And I really didn’t kick everyone out after the video presentation. I know a lot of people take what I write here very seriously so I wanted to set the record straight. I do need to point out that my close personal friend 4M was upset that he was misidentified in the video. There was another M in my high school class but there’s only one 4M, fortunately. #1 keeps telling me that he’s going to right that wrong. I’m waiting.

I still have to get my thank you notes out for the many wonderful gifts I was given. I plan to do that this weekend. There are still a few mysteries. My advice is that you duct tape the card to the gift next time. If you gave me the following, let me know.

Veuve Cliquot
Clos du Bois Cab
Gnarly Head Old Vine Zin

In addition to 4M, I had another high school classmate at the party, The Upgrade King. My wife handed him our video camera to document the party. The light was not great but he did an excellent job, given the circumstances. The only problem was that he tried to do another upgrade by expropriating our video camera. I had to go by his house Friday to pick it up and give him a talking to.

My other high school bud TK couldn’t make the party because he was down at UC Irvine visiting his kid. I’m looking to him for some advice on the college search and application process since I’ll be sending son #1 off in ’08. TK and I discussed how different things are between now and our college days. He said you really have to market your kid these days. Back when he and I were in our small school in upstate NY, our guidance counselor’s job consisted of reciting the names of five or six Catholic colleges in the state. He was good at it. Siena, Niagara, Canisius etc. After a three year delay, during which I spent time finding myself, I found myself making minimum wage and decided to head off to SUNY Binghamton. Now my boy will soon be making that journey. I have an idea on how to market him. He has pretty good grades and some extracurricular activity but the clincher will be that he’s low maintenance. Feed him four or five times a day and he won’t bother you.

We closed out the party before midnight. Remember, most of my friends are old like me. The last hour or so most folks had cleared out and it was just the Foster City crowd, our “village”, remaining. One of them, The Belgian’s wife, is taking a human sexuality course at SF State. That led to some interesting, and occasionally raucous, conversations. We even got the French translation of a couple terms, such as “solely for procreation” and “within the bonds of marriage”

Now it’s back to my normal routine. I did mix things up a bit by making a stop at the Stanford Blood Center Thursday. What a painful experience! Giving blood was no problem but they had the radio tuned to an easy listening station, which gave me a 1-2 punch I’ll not soon forget. The first blow was a Peter Cetera/Cher duet followed by Rod Stewart crooning “So Far Away”. I begged the nurse to put on KFOG but they have their policies. So I was stuck with a station whose play list spans the long arc of schmaltz rock, from Bread, through the suave metal stylings of REO Speedwagon, to Five for Fighting’s reflection on a “package for the wishes” As I left the center, after downing a quart of OJ and half a dozen cookies, they cautioned me not to skip any meals. I assured them that would not be a problem.

To close, I’d like to pose the same important question that AOL recently did: How much green tea is too much?