My Life as a Fan

Yeah, I'm celebrity obsessed. I don't know how I got this way. From my Snoop Dogg Doggy Biscuitz footwear to my Calvin Klein sunglasses, I can't get enough of them. I try to fight it and then Jessica Simpson makes me even crazier about her by telling W to take a hike.

Some people might ask, "Why are celebrities better than us?". I think the answer is obvious. They're a whole lot prettier, to begin with. Then you got the fact that they're multi-talented. I'm not just talking about singing, dancing, and acting. These folks can design their own clothes and shoe lines, create perfumes from scratch, and write children's books. I've been trying to market my perfume, Eau de Lagoon, for years but I'm not getting anywhere. Plus my children's book, "Why Daddy Works in a Cubicle", has been turned down by every publisher in the country. This rejection combined with my sadness that I wasn't invited to Lake Como for the Brangelina wedding has put me in a funk. I'm hoping this blog will be cathartic.